Spoils of Rotten Fruit

MAJOR WIP DUMP (PART TWO)

2007-08-15T13:15:59Z

London, England, 1912. Already well into the 20th Century, and what a century it was shaping up to be. I was “Young Master Ville”, heir to my father’s shipping fortune. Old money, of course, and very much accepted into society’s fold, which was to be expected. I lived in an impressive house in London, my family owned several of it’s own cars, we employed maids, cooks and cleaners to serve us. We were what could be considered “upper class”. We were rich, popular and well received. I was a gentleman.

He was a gutter rat, working a cleaning job at a bakery in exchange for a place to sleep and leftover bread. He was beautiful, with a vibrant personality and a devil-may-care attitude that run rampant with his kind of person. At first, I found him infuriating. But whether it was by chance, by fate, or by his never-ending persistence to hunt me out when I was enjoying a day in the city, we kept meeting. Often in the most uncomfortable circumstances, when it was nearly impossible to share a word. None the less, each time we met his infuriating mannerisms and ways soon grew on me. He grew on me.

We were worlds apart. He was a gutter rat, and I was a gentleman. But one cold morning, in early January, I made a choice that was the best, and worst, decision of my life.

One cold morning, in early January, our worlds would collide.

Part One.

"Ville, be a dear would you and go get some bread from that bakery over there?"

I followed the direction my mother was pointing, then arched an eyebrow. She was actually pointing towards a bakery. I looked back at her, a pout briefly crossing my lips.

“Do I have to, mother?”

“Ville,” My mother said sternly. “It’s just across the road. I will take you all of two minutes. Now I just want a regular loaf, and maybe a baker’s dozen of rolls. Understand?”

“Yes, mother.” I said, not bothering to wait for the driver as I opened the car door. It was cold outside and I pulled my coat tighter around me, looking along the road before crossing it. I was sure we had servants to get us bread, so I didn’t have to. I didn’t enjoy trying to dodge horse shit as I stepped up onto the pavement outside the bakery. It was still early morning, before lunch, yet the streets were busy with people. They were all going about their business, shopping, talking, and eating. Upper and lower class mingling together as close as they cared. It fascinated me.

"This is your fault." Bam said, picking up bucket, rag and washcloth from the supply closet.

"My fault?" Ville asked, grabbing the same items with annoyance. "How is it my fault?"

"You kissed me."

"You asked for it."

"I did not! I said you never kissed anyone in public."

"I was showing you that I did."

"You got us in trouble."

"You returned the kiss!"

"You boys with both be doing this again tomorrow if you keep that up." The Dean said, leading Ville and Bam towards a science room. "I thought one detention would've been enough for you."

They had been frog-marched to the Dean's office after thier kiss in the dining hall, sat down and given a full length lecture on appropriate behaviour while on the school grounds. Ville spent the entire time with his hands folded on his lap, looking down at his shoes and playing the ignorant foreigner. Bam, however, slouched in the chair, picked at his nails and let the Dean's words pass in one ear, and out the other; he'd been in this situation before, and he didn't pay attention then, either.

Here they were, however, standing in the doorway of a relatively clean science room with the Dean instucting them on what to do. The Dean pointed at the whiteboard behind the teacher's paper-strewn desk. He didn't need to be told what was expected, insted he just walked over towards the desk.

"Mr. Valo, you are responsible for cleaning the student's desks. Once Mr. Margera has finished his whiteboard duties, he will assist you in cleaning the work benches." The Dean said, looking between them. "I advise you to get the work done, and not slack off. Good evening to you both."

With that, the Dean turned on his heel and left, leaving Ville and Bam alone in the room.

"He's right. We may as well just get this over with." Bam said, picking up his cloth and cleaner. Ville did the same, although he gave the desks a strong look of disgust. "What?"

"I stick gum on these desks, Bam, not clean them." Ville said, sounding petulant. Bam laughed softly, and shook his head, spraying the board liberally with lemon-scented cleaner.

It was after five minutes that he actually noticed the way Ville's eyes burnt into his back. He glanced over his shoulder, only to find Ville leaning against a desk, arms folded and a smirk on his lips. He was practically staring at Bam.

"What?" Bam questioned, looking around him. What was so interesting?

"Nothing." Ville said, tilting his head. "Just admiring the way your shirt rides up when you reach up, and since you wear your pants so low, I can't help but notice you're not wearing any boxers today."

Bam blinked.

"That's very, very sexy." Ville continued, his voice lowering as he pushed off the table.

"Oh." Bam said simply, watching Ville. He didn't quite understand what Ville wanted, but he certainly couldn't deny the way his cock hardened at the sight of Ville sauntering over to him. He glanced back at the whiteboard, breathing out slowly and trying to concentrate on his work. Ville had already gotten him in trouble twice now, and the last thing he wanted was another detention. So if he just ignored Ville, and concentrated on his work, then hopefully Ville would get the hint and everything would be okay.

A pair of hands snaked under his white school shirt, pressing against his back. Bam shivered; Ville hadn't gotten then hint. Or he had, and was just chosing to ignore it. The hands slowly moved up, tracing his spine like braille. Bam could feel his shirt being hitched up as well, and he couldn't help but find the action a complete turn on. Ville's hands stopped, and he lightly dragged his nails down Bam's back. Bam couldn't help the shudder that went through his body, nor the way his cock twitched against the cotton of his slacks. He tilted his head back against Ville's shoulder, just as two sets of fingers dug into his hips, pulling his body back against Ville's long, lithe form.

"You know what I've been wanting to do since I jerked you off in the bathroom?" Ville asked, breathing against Bam's ear. Bam's eyes closed, and he felt one of Ville's hands leave his hip.

"No," Bam said, his voice cracking slightly as one of Ville's hands slid down the back of his slacks. A finger brushed along the crease of his ass and Bam couldn't fight back the whimper that escaped his throat. The cloth and cleaner fell from his hands, clattering dully onto the floor. Bam's hands shook.

"I've been wanting to fuck you. Sink myself inside your tight ass and fuck you until you scream," Ville said, his voice deep and husky with lust. He slide his hand out from the back of Bam's pants and slowly stepped back towards the teacher's desk, pulling Bam with him. The back of his thighs hit the wood and he smiled

They both lay still for a moment, trying to catch thier breath. Ville slumped over Bam, burying his face against his neck and mumbling something unintelligble. Bam just lay there, not moving in his post-orgasmic haze. He closed his eyes, waiting for his heart to stop bouncing off his ribcage and his muscles to regain feeling. He wasn't even going to try to think until much, much later.

Ville's head shot up, his eyes wide. Bam opened his mouth to say something, but he cut off the words as he heard a sound out in the corridor. Footsteps. Worse then that, footsteps heading towards their room. Ville looked down at Bam, before he set his jaw and straightened up, sliding himself out of Bam less-than-gently. Bam winced, struggling to push himself up as Ville discarded the condom. Bam wasn't quite sure where to.

"Come on, you stupid twat." Ville hissed, doing up his slacks. "I'm not going to be expelled because of you."

Bam blinked, but pulled up his pants none-the-less. His mind wasn't quite working yet, and he wasn't sure why Ville's was. The footsteps were closer now, and Ville grabbed Bam's wrist, pulling him to a door at the back of the room. It lead into another room, filled with ten or so computers, which then lead out into the corridor. Bam let himself be pulled along without much complaint, looking over his shoulder only to see Professor Jenkins looking around hurridly for them.

Ville swore, then looked at Bam and said, "Run!"

Bam ran. He tore around a corner, along a corridor and down a flight of stairs, all the while making sure Ville was beside him. They were heading for their dormroom, and Bam could feel his chest begin to tighten with exertion. He heard Ville's pronouced wheezing as he fought to keep up. Bam wasn't even sure whether the footsteps were still following them or not, but he didn't care. His main objective was to run, and that's what he was doing. Fast.

It was when both he and Ville were in their dorm room, once the door had slammed shut behind them, did Bam remember to breathe. He bent over, bracing his hands against his knees. Ville practically collapsed to the floor, only managing to reach out far enough to grab his inhaler and take several hits of the medecine. Bam sunk down to the floor, his back leaning against the door. Ville lay, spread-eagled on the floor, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. They stayed like that for a while, listening to the sound of thier breathing calm down to an even lull. Then Bam started to feel the awkward silence that hung in the air between them.

"Ville," Bam said, before he was quite sure what he was going to say. Not that it mattered.

"Shut up. Just, shut up, Bam." Ville snapped, glaring at Bam as he managed to crawl up onto his bed. Bam swallowed a little, although made no move to go to his own bed, or any closer to Ville at all. He was pretty sure this wasn't how sex was meant to end. It was meant to be hugs and kisses and cuddles, not running and glaring.

Bam closed his eyes, his head falling back against the wooden door with a dull thud. He was still sweaty, his pants were sticking to him, his ass hurt, his head hurt and his heart hurt. He felt used, a mindless toy Ville used to get off. But despite that, all he wanted right now was to crawl into Ville's bed and feel those strong, pale arms wrap around him body. He wasn't stupid enough to try, but it was what he wanted.

Bam sighed softly to himself and crawled over to his bed, wrapping the covers around himself and burying down. He couldn't even be bothered changing out of his clothes. Bam looked up at the black ceiling, and could hear Ville's shallow breathing, indicating he was still awake. Bam longed to say something, but couldn't get his voice to work, even in the darkness of the room. Insted, he just lay there, willing his body to fall asleep so he could forget it it all. He could only hope that next time would be better.

"If there's even a next time," Bam whispered into his pillow, closing his eyes.

Sleep would cure it all, right?

Angels in Threesomes

Missy giggled as her foot slipped off the couch. She was drunk, this evident by the nearly empty vodka bottle in her hand. Although she couldn’t take credit for drinking all of it; they’d had nearly a quarter each. Missy leant back on the cushions, half-sprawled on the couch, and looked at the ceiling. It was sometime past twelve. The three of them had come back to Castle Bam after some MTV bash for someone’s little sister. She really couldn’t remember. But here they were more then a little tipsy, her on this couch looking at the ceiling, them on that couch kissing.

Not that she minded that. She’d known for a while that her boyfriend wasn’t straight. Hell, she’d known for a while that her boyfriend wasn’t really her boyfriend. The sex was fantastic, yes. He hugged, kissed and caressed her like she was the only important thing to him, but one look around that house showed who his heart belonged to. He may have loved her, but that was nothing compared to the way he loved the green eyed god between his legs.

But she really didn’t mind. She was still a girl, she could admit to Ville being gorgeous. Combine that with Bam’s boyish good looks and a little sweat and she found herself going weak at the knees. Or, she should if she hadn’t of been lying on the couch drunk. She giggled.

Ville looked up, eyebrow raised, ignoring Bam’s whimper of protest. “What are you giggling at?”

“Nothing.” She said, giggling again and shaking her head. “Go back to kissing.”

Ville opened his mouth to say something, only to find himself being dragged back down into a kiss by Bam, who had threaded a hand into his hair. The song on the jukebox changed over to Dark Secret Love, causing Bam to moan. Ville moaned louder.

Why didn’t she break up with Bam? That was easy. He may have been in love with Ville, but he still loved her. He still held her, he still kissed her, and when Ville wasn’t here, he stilled fucked her and she still slept in his bed. When Ville was here, she was just another girl who had nothing on their chemistry. However, when Ville was here, she also got to see things that could make any fan jealous. But she only ever watched. Bam changed; he went from the dominating top he was with her to a whimpering, pleading bottom, begging Ville to fuck his brains out. As for Ville… she couldn’t deny that she’d thought about him. Who hadn’t? Bam didn’t know, but she’d thought about what it’d be like to have his hands on her body, feel his mouth against hers. Ville was all kinds of irresistible, and she was never sure who she was more jealous of, Bam or Ville.

Bam was murmuring something against Ville’s ear. She was Ville glance at her, before back to bam, eyebrow raised. They were having a conversation, but she could barely understand her own thoughts through the alcohol clouding her brain.

“Missy?” Ville said softly. She looked up at him, feeling her foot slip off the couch again. “Watch.”

She did. Ville’s mouth claimed Bam’s again, their tongues twining in an erotic dance. Ville had a hand under Bam’s shirt, his fingers brushing over subtle muscle lines. He pinched Bam’s nipple, twisting and causing Bam to arch up with a soft moan. She licked her lips, watching them, and shifted to get herself comfortable. Drunk as she may be, she could still recognise the familiar warmth in her stomach. She bit her lip, resting a hand on her stomach. They were hot; there was no doubt about that. They were hot, and she was finding it just as hot.

“Told you.” Bam’s voice sounded. Missy blinked, finding both Ville and Bam looking at her. Ville with curiosity, Bam with a hint of amusement mixed with his lust.

“She likes it.” Ville noted, nodding his head slightly. He hand was still was brushing along Bam’s stomach, Bam’s hand still tangled in his hair. They were having a conversation about her, as if she couldn’t hear. Ville was looking at her with a strange interest. Bam smiled.

“Have I told you how great Missy has been?” He asked, looking at her, though directing the question to Ville. He licked his hips. “She knows about us, but she hasn’t told anyone. She just sits there and takes her boyfriend getting it on with another man.”

“I’ve noticed. I thought she would have been jealous.” Ville said. Missy shifted, trying to find her voice. She couldn’t, and it had nothing to do with the alcohol.

“On, no.” Bam said with a sly grin. “She <I>likes</I> it, The only thing that she would be jealous about… is that she’s not getting any attention.”

Missy couldn’t look away. A brief though in her mind made her think of what they were talking about, but she couldn’t let herself hope for that. Ville’s eyes burnt with some disguised emotion, looking over her body and making her smile. Ville sat up on his knees, looking down at Bam, then back up at Missy.

“I know she thinks about you, occasionally.” Bam said, causing Missy to blush. “I know she thinks about me. I know she thinks about both of us. She’s been so good, we should reward her.”

Missy sat up slightly, biting on her lip again. Her body was warm, tingling for the feeling of their eyes on her. This was the alcohol. This was a dream. Had to be.

Bam got off his couch, walking over to her. She watched him as he stood over her. This was familiar; this is what she knew. Bam crouched, threading his hand through her hair and tugging her into a kiss. She met it without resistance, melting against his lips. This was the loving she knew. Except she felt Ville’s eyes focused on them, she knew he was watching. Bam’s tongue brushed over her lip, and she parted them for him. She stopped noticing everything else, as she became aware of her body. Her mind was clouded, but Bam’s hands burnt into her skin where he touched her neck, where he had a hand in her hair. They kissed, slowly and deeply. Missy leaned her body into Bam’s. She heard a soft sound, the movement of feet on the floor. She felt Bam shiver, then moan into their kiss. He pulled her closer, and she gladly complied, reaching up to run her nails through his short curls. She was about to break away to ask Bam about Ville, before she felt a soft touch on her thigh, fingers brushing up her denim-clad leg. It wasn’t Bam; his hands were still around her face.

Ville.

She pulled back, looking up. Ville was leaning against the back of the couch, trailing his fingers up and down her thigh. He was watching them, licking his lips.

“You’re right.” He murmured, flicking his gaze to Bam’s face. “We should reward her. She has been good.”

Missy found herself trembling with anticipation. Could they be suggesting what she thought? She found the alcohol’s effect was ebbing away. Bam stood, pulling her to her feet. She felt herself being lead towards his bedroom, his fingers laced through hers. Another hand was pressed against the small of her back as the bedroom door was closed behind her. She swallowed. This had to be another one of her dreams. What they were suggesting would be crossing an invisible line that had been made.

The room was quiet except for their heavy breathing. Missy looked to her side, not surprised at finding Bam and Ville locked into another kiss. Her hand was dropped, Bam’s hands slipping to dig into the back pockets of Ville’s jeans, tugging their hips together. Ville’s groan was muffled into Bam’s mouth, before he pulled back.

“Now, now, Bammie.” He said, amusement rich in his voice. “No forgetting the lovely Missy.”

Missy found herself blushing again, her brain not registering much of anything as Ville moved towards her, reaching up to brush his fingers along her arm. Missy looked up at him.

“He’s so forgetful sometimes. Such a naughty boy.” He said, leaning into her. Missy closed her eyes, expecting a kiss. She let out a soft, disappointed sound as Ville’s lips brushed her cheek instead. His hands were on her hips, under her shirt and against her skin. He was behind her, and she sighed, finding herself leaning back into the heat of his body. A set of fingers curled around the hem of her shirt and tugged upwards. She lifted her arms obediently, feeling the fabric stripped from her body. She shivered, self-consciously wrapping her arms around herself. Here she was in jeans and her bra, under the heated gazed of two gorgeous men. She shivered again.

“Don’t.” Ville murmured against her ear, taking her wrists and pulling them away from her body. “We want to see you.”

She let her arms drop to her side, finding herself leaning back into the heat of Ville’s body. Bam was in front of her, his shirt long since discarded to the bedroom floor. She licked her lips, raking her eyes over his lightly toned body, taking in the sight of him.

“Beautiful,” He murmured, talking about her. “As always.”

She reached up, tangling her hand in his hair and tugging him down, pressing her mouth to his. He smiled against her lips, letting his hands settle on her hips as he returned the kiss deeply. She wrapped her other arm around his neck, pulling him against his, his body pressing flush against hers. She couldn’t help but inwardly smile; sandwiched between Ville and Bam, how lucky was she?

Ville stroked his fingers through her hair, brushing it back from her neck as he pressed soft kisses to her shoulder. She moaned softly into Bam’s mouth, holding him closer. She felt Ville pulled away, through only briefly as he back against her before she could complain. She leant back against him, making an appreciative sound as her back pressed against his bare chest. He kissed her neck just below her ear, and she broke away from Bam. She panted softly, watching Bam lick his lips. She whimpered, titling her head to the side slightly as Ville’s kisses pressed to her throat. She gave Bam an almost pleading look; there was only one thing she really wanted to do.

“Go on.” Bam said, giving a nod of his head. With his permission, she turned her head to look at Ville, meeting his gaze easily. He smiled down at her, and she reached back, threading her hand through his hair and tugging him down, making her intention clear. Ville’s smile turned to a smirk before he met her in a kiss. Her lips parted for him and his tongue stroked over hers slowly. He wasted of cigarettes, alcohol, Bam and something distinctly Ville. She moaned, turning herself until she was facing him, melting her body against his. Some coherent part of her brain told her that she probably shouldn’t be doing this, that this was destroying the separation that had been set between her hand Ville. But, Bam had said she could, and Ville’s kisses made her body burn. She ignored coherency; she focused on her passion.

Bam’s fingers were stroking along her spine, from her neck down to the waist of her pants. He paused at her bra, before she felt him unclasping it expertly. Bam’s hands brushed up to her shoulders, pushing the bra straps off her shoulders and down her arms. She placed her hands flat against Ville’s chest as he finished the task, her bra falling to the floor amongst their shirts. The cool air wrapped around her, making her shiver. She broke the kiss to breathe, though only for a moment before Ville’s lips were back on hers in a fiery kiss. His kisses were addicted, slow and sensual, like everything else about him.

Someone’s hand was on her stomach. She wasn’t even sure who’s. The warm touch slid up to cup her breast, giving a light squeeze. She gasped, arching her body into the touch. She was normally such a shy girl, but she was sure shy girls didn’t act like this around their boyfriends and their boyfriend’s lover. A thumb brushed over her nipple, before pinching and plucking at the sensitive tip.

“Please…?” She moaned weakly, feeling Ville smile.

“Our little vixen has a voice.” He murmured against her lips. She whimpered at the feeling of a thumb brushing back and forth over her nipple, before Ville pulled back. She saw him step back, felt her breast being let go. She gave a small, disappointed sound just as Ville’s hand rested on her hip, slowly guiding her back towards the bed. She glanced around, and noted with surprise that Bam wasn’t even in the room. It was just her and Ville. A tiny part of her felt almost let down. Was Bam going to come back? She had quite enjoyed having both of them making her body tremble with anticipation and pleasure.

Her knees hit the end of the bed and Ville lowered her down carefully, smirking when she pulled him down on top of her. She hooked a leg over his, melting into the kiss they quickly resumed. His hand found it’s way back to her breast, massaging gently as she moaned and gasped with pleasure. He pulled away from her lips, trailing kisses as he slid down her body. His mouth closed over her nipple, just as she heard the door open.

“Oh, honestly Ville.” Bam said with amusement. Missy gasped as Ville’s tongue laved over her nipple, tangling her hand in his hair. “Give the poor girl a rest. She has to breathe occasionally.”

“Why should I leave her alone?” Ville said, moving off her and looking over his shoulder. Bam smiled innocently; something he did rather well, considering.

“Because now I feel left out.” He said. Missy gave a slightly disappointed moan as she felt Ville climb off her, getting to his feet and walking over to Bam.

“Oh, do you?” He asked, backing Bam against the door. Missy licked her lips as Bam tangled his hand in Ville’s hair.

“Yes.” He said simply, before pulling Ville into a rough kiss. Everything about them was rougher. When they touched her hair, it was gently stroking. Bam’s hand was nearly pulling on Ville’s hair. When they kissed her, it was slow and sensual. Ville and Bam were kissing hard, with a practiced ease, their tongues fighting for space in each other’s mouths. They touched her gently; Bam clawed his nails down Ville’s back. They layed her down carefully, Ville pushed Bam back against the door with a dull, wooden thud. There was something almost wild about them.

Ville’s hand’s tucked under Bam’s thighs, lifting him up. Bam’s legs immediately went around his waist, pulling their hips flush together. Ville ground down against him, and Missy felt her mouth go dry as Bam tilting his head back, breaking the kiss to moan loudly. Denim created delicious friction against denim as their hips pressed and moved against each other. Ville was moving kisses along Bam’s neck, pausing to suck and nibble at a sensitive spot below his jaw. Bam sucked in a breath, gripping at Ville’s shoulders for some sort of support. Missy found herself sliding a hand down her stomach to her jeans, playing with the button there before popping it open.
</lj-cut>

<lj-cut text=" highschool="Highschool" vam="VAM" au="AU" thing."="thing."">
"Bam? You listening?"

I wasn't. I hadn't been listening for a good half of the conversation. What my friends have to say doesn't really pose an interest to me. They're talking about girls. I'm gay. No interest.

"Yo, Earth to Bam..."

My attention was focused elsewhere. More specifically, over at the other side of the school library. At the second plush, comfy seat next to a computer and between two windows. Well, not at the seat exactly, although I'm sure it IS a nice seat, but moreso at the body it in. A black beanie covered somewhat wild hair, and black eyeliner surrounded somewhat hidden eyes. He's... good looking. I use that word because the only other word I can think of to describe him is 'pretty'and I know he loathes that. He told me so. A worn down, dog-earred book sat in his lap and I had a strange suspicion is was Poe. He loves Poe. I always liked watching him read Poe. His green eyes would scan over the paper, back and forth, line after line.

"Bam!"

I grunted and pulled my eyes away, back to my friends. They wanted my opinion on something trivial and stupid. I pleased them with a one-worded answer and that was the end of my contribution to the conversation. My gaze slid back to it's previous position, watching the reading boy. Unfortunately this did not escape the nacotice of my friends.

"Oh, Jesus, Bam. Get over him, it's been months."

'Him' went more commonly by the name Ville. Ville Valo to be technical. He was eighteen, in his last year of highschool, Finnish and gay.

How did I know he was gay? Because up until two months ago, we had been regularly fucking each and every week. Since we're both guys, I made a good assumtion that made him pretty fucking gay.

I realised I was staring at him. My friends had given up on trying to distract, instead choosing to ignore me. But I was was fine with that, because I was staring. This didn't make me look away, though, just made me realise that I had to blink. I didn't even look away when Ville, for some reason, looked up from his book and over in my direction. He looked back down again fairly quickly and I slowly counted down from ten.

Ten... nine... eight...

He looked back at me. Now we were both staring at each other. My neck tingled, both with the remembered feeling of his teeth on my skin and the looming threat of a blush if I didn't look away. His face was blank as he returned my gaze, until he looked back down at his book. Even from here I could see the corners of his lips turn up in a smile that had nothing to do with what he was reading.

I can't remember the exact details of why we stopped fucking. I knew there was a fight, but whether it was over his eyeliner or something infinitely bigger, I couldn't recall. I just knew there had been a fight. I knew he had said something, and I knew I had stormed out in something my friends would've called a temper tantrum. I also knew we hadn't talked since, and that was two months ago. It felt weird at the time to just stop it all. All contact, everything, but it seemed like the only resonable thing to do. I was angry with him. I was fine with that. For the first month I really was happy hating him, everything he touched and absolutely everything about him. It bought me pleasure to mock him with my friends, calling him a girl, a faggot and everything else. I liked it. That ended at the start of the second month, though, when I was hit by a realisation as big as a train.

I missed him.

This realisation came to me after I found myself thinking of, most absurdly, his laugh. Ville has the kind of laugh that's embarassing, dorky, infectious and goddamn adorable. I missed the sound of it. I missed him. I missed his laugh, his scent, his eyes, his lips, the way he'd read books over and over, the way he talked to himself in Finnish, the way he adored Black Sabbath and, mostly, the way his cock felt sodamnfuckinggood buried inside me.

Obviously when I discovered this, I went on a rampage of depression, denial, anger and lots of masturbation.

Which is why I sat in the school library, ignoring my friends in favour of watching him read. Except they all got up to leave, and I was forced to either break my stare and follow them, or continue sitting, just by myself. I got to my feet and folowed them out of the library, a path that took me right past Ville's chair. I helped myself to a glance, only to find that he was watching me. Before I could stop myself, I smiled at him. Not a wide one, just the corners of my lip turning up in recognition that he was there. He smiled back, and I left the room.

I wish I could say this was something that only happened once a month, or something. But it wasn't. It almost became a daily thing. I would see him in class, up the back, listening to his music and not paying any attention. Or I would see him walking home, as I went past on my skateboard. Or, I would see him in gym class.

Actually, I suppose wouldn't see him is a better way of saying it.

A brief overview of gym class: I hated it and skipped it as often as possible. End of overview.

I was standing in the changing rooms. There were various articles of clothing all over the place, as well as a vague stentch of old body odour and sweat. I had to get out of there. So I did, and I let my feet take me where they wanted to go, which turned out to be behind the gynasium building. God knows why.

He was there. He leant against the brickwork, one foot propped up, and there was a cigarette in his hand. Which explained why he was back behing the gymnasium. He hadn't seen me yet, so I took the oppotunity to stare at him some more. There's not too many things in this world sexier then Ville smoking a cigarette. His lips wrapped around the tan filter and sucked, inhaing a lungful. He held it for a moment, then slowly and smoothly let the smoke curl from his lips in grey wisps, until it disappeared into the air. Then he'd do it all over again, until his cigarette was gone. I used to love watching him smoke after sex; by the time he was done I almost wanted to fuck him again.

He spotted me, smiled and gestured me over. I couldn't help but walk over, it was some sort of automatic decision my feet made. He held out the cigarette to me in offerance, silently asking if I wanted a drag. I shook my head, and he shrugged, then went back to smoking it by himself. I went back to staring, and even though he noticed, he didn't say or do anything. Just smoked. But then he was finished smoking. He dropped the cigarette butt, did a twisty thing with his heel that all smokers seem to be able to do without even pausing. Then he looked at me.

Then he kissed me. Or I kissed him. I'm not sure which one it was, but it wasn't that important. His lips were against mine, his tongue moving over mine and fuck, I missed this. He was thin, and strong, and his mouth was wet and warm. Our movement was almost desperate, like I wanted to crawl inside him and he wanted to do the same to me. I didn't even know where any of this was coming from, all I knew was that one second he was smoking and the next we were back to the frantic passion we had a few months ago. It was like the past two months of not even talked hadn't even happened. It confused me. I wasn't complaining, though. I wanted him, he wanted me, why not go at it with each other?

A small voice in my head mentioned that's what had been happening up until a few weeks ago, and look how that turned out. But then Ville's hand pulled and loosened my belt and I didn't give a fuck about the voice in my head, the fact that we were behind the school or any of the other common-sense bullshit that went along with thinking.

Ville's fingers wrapped around my cock and stroked. I had already been half-hard before that, but as soon as his touch was on my skin, I was moaning and panting like he had been stroking me for a lot longer. He was into it, too. He licked his lips and kissed me again, hand moving, stroking and basically trying to get me off. I bucked my hips up into his grip, and tilted my head back against the brick wall. One of my hands was twisted in the back of his shirt, and it gripped tightly to the frabric. His hand moved faster and he whispered something filthy in my ear. I wanted him to fuck me. We couldn't, because I didn't have protection on me, and we leaning against a school building during class, but that was irrelevant. I wanted him to fuck me. I could remember how good he felt, and I kept that thought in my mind as his hand worked along my cock. I panted heavily, and tangled my fingers through Ville's semi-wild hair. I was muttering, about how hot he was, how close I was and how I wanted him inside me. I could feel his hot breath against my ear and over my neck. He did something with his wrist and that pushed me over the edge. I gasped, trembled, jerked and came.

MAJOR WIP DUMP (PART ONE)

2007-08-15T13:10:18Z

All of these are unfinished. Some of them I may finish, some I may not. Feel free to read, if you want. Maybe some encouraging thoughts will dust off those bunnies?

The Master has a doll collection, it is not to be touched.

This was one of the first things I was taught when I started serving the Household three years ago. The Master’s dolls are not to be touched. He only brings them out at parties, to entertain guests. That, and to just show them off. He has every right, too; his doll collection is one of the finest and most exquisite in the country. Apparently, I’ve barely seen them. Only a glance here and there. Master keeps his dolls locked up tight in a wing of the house when they’re not on display. All the servants called it the ‘Doll House’.

Only a certain number of servants are allowed to serve in the Doll House. I wish I were one of them. Sadly, I’m just one of the basic servants in the Household, doing menial duties like cleaning and washing. I’m not even one of the Master’s personal servants. I rather wish I were.

I’m Brandon, more commonly known as Bam. As stated, I am a servant in the Master’s Household. There are actually quite a few of us. We cook, clean, wash and take care of the upper-class people in the Household. The Master, the Master’s family and visiting guests.

But not the dolls. Never the dolls.

The Master doesn't often add to his collection. One wouldn't expect him to. The Master keeps such a high standard within the Dolls House that often expectations aren't met when new dolls are brought in for examination. Infact, there has not been a new doll brought into the house since I started working here. We may not get to serve the dolls, or have the dolls displayed to us (as they are displayed to guests at a party), but every servant in the Household knows how many dolls there are and when new dolls are added to the collection.

I've only ever heard the stories of how the Master treats his dolls, but all of them fascinate me. Most of these stories are accepted as truth amongst the slaves. For example, when a new doll is brought into the Household, only the Master and a single, selected servant is allowed to see that doll for a full six months. It's the reintergration process, before the doll is put onto display.

The dolls are a thing of mysterious beauty. Three years and I have not even seen a doll yet.

I doubt I ever will.

---

On the first day, Ville holed himself up in the King of Prussia hotel, curled up under his blankets and trying to convince himself that he had made the right choice.

On the second day, he dragged himself out of bed long enough to take a piss, before sleeping the rest of the day. He felt numb, and the hotel bed was uncomforable and cold.

The third day, Ville tried not to cry. His eyes stung, and he rubbed them every five minutes. One question kept running through his head; had he made the right choice? He missed Bam. A lot.

The fourth day found Ville longing for brown curls and blue eyes. He longed for tht small, tanned body. Those tattoos that all looked so familiar. The smooth skin and the angel’s smile. Ville couldn’t bare the thoughts. They hurt. They made his heart clentch and his stomach drop.

The fith day, he pulled himself out of his slump long rnough to turn on the TV. He channel flicked, stopping briefly on MTV2 to listen to the familiar riff of HIM’s ‘Wings of a Butterfly’. Bam’s favourite song off Dark Light. Ville changed it to MTV, and left it. He hadn’t had a shower in a week He couldn’t fuction. He felt empty and wrong. He looked at the TV long enough to see a familiar face, laughing along to a prank pulled. Bam had a beautiful smile. Ville turned off the TV, and curled back up in bed. Viva La Bam made him feel sick.

The sixth day he was pulled from his sleeful peace by his doorbell’s constant ringing. Ville muttered, and rolled over, pulling his pillow over his face. Thr ringing continuted. Ville groaned and dragged himself out of bed, tugging on a fresh pair of boxers and padding over to the front door. He cracked it open slightly.

“Jesus, Ville. You look like shit.”

Ville raised an eyebrow at Mige. He scrubbe a hand through his hair and turned, walking ino his apartment to let Mige and Ruan in. Ryan closedhe door, then looked Ville over, shaking his head.

“What the fuck did you do to Bam, man?” Ryan asked. Ville blinked.

“Why?”

“He’s a mess.” Mige said, pushing Ville down onto the couch. “He hasn’t seen the inside of a shower for days. It’s like he’s given up.”

Ville grunted.

“Did you two fight?”Ryan asked.

“Sorta.” Ville said, his voice hoarse from a weeks misuse. He cleared his hroat, and found a glass of water pushed into his hand. When did Mige go to the kitchen? Ville blinked, then sipped at the water.

“Sorta?” Ryan continued. “How can you sorta fight?”

“It wasn’t his fault.” Ville said, looking down at the carpet. Guilt twinged in his stomach. He hadn’t reckoned on his decision effectng Bam that much. Which was stupid, really. Did he think Bam would smile happily and just agree with him? Mige frowned.

“What the hell did you guys fight about?”

“We didn’t fight.’ Ville said slowly, playing the scene over in his head for the nth time that week. He blinked backtears. “I broke up with him.”

“Jesus Christ, Ville! No shit!” Ryan said. Ville winced. Mige grabbed Ryan’s should and shook his head. Ryan frowned and folded his arms, but closed his mouth. Mige turned to Ville.

“We figured that one out, Ville.” Mige said quietly. “We want to know why. That’s the one no one can figure out.”

“You guys were so fucking happy, man.” Ryan added. “Now Bam’s confused as fuck. He’s hurt. He doesn’t know what the hell e’s done wrong.”

“He didn’t do anything wrong.” Ville croaked, closing his eyes. He hurt Bam. That was unforgivable. No, this had all turned out wrong.

“Why the fuck did you break up with him, then?” Ryan snapped. Ville swallowed. “He fucking looks like shit!”

“Ryan!”

“Well, he does, Mige.”

“Yeah, and so does he.”

They were talking about him. Ville listened to them in silence. Mige might’ve been right. No shower and he hadn’t even looked at himself in the mirror. He probably needed to shave, and no doubt his eyes were red rimmed.

“Why’d you do it, Ville?” Mige asked softly, sitting down next to him on the couch. Ville chewed him lip, then looked up at Mige, holding back his tears.

“They told me to.”

Ryan frowned, and opened his mouth to speak before Mige silenced him with a look. He looked at Ville in concern. “Who told you to?”

“Sire! Sire Records!” Ville said, drawing his knees up to his chest. “They told me to end my relationship with Bam.”

“And you agreed” Ryan said, his voice edged “Just like that?”

“No.” Ville said, glaring at Ryan coldly. “I told them I wouldn’t.”

“So why did you, Ville?” Mige asked softly, reaching up to tuck some of Ville’s hair behind his ear. Ville sighed, and dropped his head to rest against his knees, shaking his head.

“They told me…” He swallowed. “It was the band, or Bam. They threatened to drop us if I didn’t break up with Bam.

9:07 PM.

Bam watched the clock flash, before he rolled over onto his back and stared up at the dark ceiling of his hotel room. Then he rolled onto his stomach, beat the pillow into a comfy shape and buried his head in it. Then he rolled back over onto his back. Then he reached out blindly for his phone and picked it up, looking at the screen that quite clearly said no one had called or messaged him. Then he slung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, running his hands through his loose curls. Then he got up and walked over to the window, looking out over the street and watching the disappearing tail-lights of an unknown car. Then he flopped back down on the bed again. Then looked back at the clock.

9:10 PM.

Bam was restless. Not tired, it was too early to be tired, just restless. Restless and… bored. The idea of going out to one of LA’s many parties occurred to him briefly, but he tossed it aside. He’d only end up so drunk he couldn’t walk and he didn’t feel like dealing with the resulting hangover tomorrow morning. Besides that, he was in no mood to talk to people.

Most people.

9:12 PM.

Bam did a quick calculation. It would only be about midnight in West Chester, and she was never in bed by midnight; not for sleep, at least. Even if she was, she couldn’t exactly be mad at him for waking her up, could she? Especially since this was for a good reason. He’d stop being so restless, after all, and it had been so long since they’d last seen each other that Bam was sure she wouldn’t mind.

He picked up his phone, hit speed dial and waited patiently, listening to the dial tone. Then there was a click.

“Hello?”

“Mis--” Bam paused. There was a faint splashing sound. “You’re taking a bath?”

“Yes,” Missy said, which was accompanied by another splashing sound. “So?”

“It’s like, midnight, Mis’.”

“Again I say… so?”

“Who the hell takes a bath at midnight?”

“I do. Did you want something, Bam?”

“Oh, feel the love.” Bam said, his voice taking on a mock-offended tone. He could practically hear Missy rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. I know you didn’t just call me at midnight to tell me that the romance is dead. Why are you even calling me? It’s midnight. I could’ve been asleep.” Missy said, the sound of splashing water accompanying her voice.

“You’re having a bath.”

“I said I could’ve been asleep, Bam. Could’ve.”

“You are never asleep at midnight, Missy. The only reason you’ve ever in a bed at midnight is because you’re being fucked in it.” Bam said, before he moved the phone to his other ear, sounding curious. “What kinda bath?”

“Bubble. What do you want, Bam?” Missy said, her voice sounding exasperated, although Bam could hear the underlying amusement. He smiled.

if you knew how much i love you
you would run away
but when i treat you bad
it always makes you want to stay

It was the soft rustle of clothing that stirred him from his sleep. His hands were grabbed and forced above his head. Ville's brain registered the click of cold steel closing around his wrists and his eyes shot open. Through the darkness, he made out the shape of someone else in his bedroom, leaning over the bed. His heart began beating faster, and he tugged on the handcuffs holding his wrists in place. Nothing gave.

Ville panicked.

Fabric covered his eyes, so he couldn't even make out the figure anymore. A gag was shoved in his mouth and tied tightly behind his head. Ville whimpered, squirming on the bed and trying to get away, even though he knew it was next to impossible. His pulse was racing and his throat was tight. He was still half asleep, with no clue as to what was going on and it scared the fuck out of him.

The covers were pulled away from his body. Fingers curled into the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down, despite the fact that Ville pressed his thighs together tightly. He was naked, blindfolded and gagged and handcuffed to his bed; he had never felt more exposed and vunerable in his life.

Ville was in such a rush that he nearly missed the coffee shop altogether. He was in a rush as he pushed the door open, the jingling of a bell accompanying his movements. He was in a rush as he walked up to the front counter, eyes down as he searched through his bag for his phone. He was even in a rush as he asked for his usual.

“What, exactly, is your usual?”

Then Ville stopped and looked up, almost offended at the thought that someone at this coffee shop didn’t know what his usual was. He’d been going to this coffee shop every day for two years, now, and even if the incredibly gorgeous boy in front of him was new, he should… still… he…

Ville’s train of thought stopped short as he got a good look at who was on the other side of the counter. He was definitely new; there was no way Ville would ever forget a face like that. He had boyish good looks, blue eyes that shone with amusement, full lips that quirked upwards in a nervous smile and, Ville noticed this one when he trailed his gaze downwards, what looked to be a thin, toned body. In short, he was gorgeous and for that Ville mentally forgave him for not knowing what his usual was.

“Are you, uh, gonna tell me what this ‘usual’ is?” The boy asked, clearing his throat and shifting from one foot to the other nervously.

“Oh, uh, a latte with two sugars. To go, please,” Ville said, unable to take his eyes off the beautiful stranger infront of him. The boy met his gaze briefly, and Ville felt a shiver go through his body. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, the boy was looking down at the register infront of him, a blush creeping across his cheeks.

“That’ll be three-fifty, thanks,” He mumbled. Ville cleared his throat, handing over his money and fighting back another shiver as his hand brushed over the boy’s. They exchanged smiles, and the boy said, “Your usual will be ready soon, sir.”

Ville suddenly found himself thinking that he really didn’t care about the coffee anymore.

----

He wasn’t in such a rush this time. In fact, he was actually running early - so much so that he decided to have breakfast at the café. Ville walked up onto the pavement and over to the outside chairs, picking up a number and setting it down on his table. It felt good not to be in a rush for once. He leant back in the chair, tipping his head back and let out a long sigh.

“I’d ask you if you had a tough day, but it’s only eight in the morning, so there’s really no point.”

Ville flicked his gaze down and couldn’t help but smile when he saw the cute boy that had served him yesterday. He was just standing there, paper at the ready, looking almost excited to have a customer.

“No, just glad to finally get a moment to sit down and relax,” Ville said, sitting up straighter. “Although I ran out of cigarettes last night, so my fingers are beginning to twitch.”

“You smoke?” The boy asked.

“Too much,” Ville replied.

"I'd offer you a cigarette, except I don't smoke," the boy said, grinning slightly. He held up his notepad and pen, ready to take an order. "I can, however, offer you a coffee."

"Great. I'll have my usual, thanks."

The boy faltered. He looked like he was thinking for a second, before he looked up, clearing his throat. "What, uh... what was that again?"

"A latte. Two sugars," Ville said, looking amused. This boy was just too damn cute.

Drabble.

2006-12-21T14:38:31Z

I wrote this, yes. Only because the first two lines were in my head, and seriously would not go away until I wrote them.

So I wrote them. Sue me.

Title: Last time, I promise.
Rating: N/A. It's a goddamn drabble.
Pairing: I guess it hints at Bam Margera/Ryan Dunn?
Warning: Implied drug use.
Word Count: 350.

Bam'll say, "Last time, I promise," and he'll say it with such conviction that Ryan will almost believe him.

Ryan won't fully believe him, though, because Ryan has counted three "Last times" this past month.

He'll try to avoid arguing with Bam over it, but he knows it's inevitable. It's like arguing with a child. Bam will work his way through all the emotions; anger, defiance, begging, pleading, compromising, whining and even, sometimes, violence. He'll end it the same way he always does, "Last time, I promise," and Ryan'll give in because he can't be bothered anymore.

If anyone asks him, Ryan'll say he doesn't give a flying fuck what Bam's doing. It's Bam's body, and Bam can fuck it up whatever way he wants. Ryan's tried, and tried, and tried, and now he's sick of trying. He'll say that Bam's been doing stupid shit since they were teenagers and that it's the same now, only this stupid shit leaves him throwing up over the toilet the next morning. He'll basically say that he doesn't care.

But when Bam next goes to do it, Ryan'll tag along. He'll make sure Bam doesn't overdose and he'll look after him when Bam's not thinking clearly. He'll make sure Bam doesn't get himself killed in some way.

The next morning he'll hold back Bam's hair while Bam is on all fours emptying his stomach into the toilet bowl. He'll soothe a hand down his back and press a cool cloth again Bam's sweaty skin. Ryan'll make sure Bam gets himself back into bed, and he'll hold him close as Bam breaks down as he comes down off his fix. He'll comfort Bam he shakes violently and murmurs "No more, no more," into the pillow and when Bam finally gets himself to sleep, Ryan'll stay like that, loathing the fact that this is the only way he can be close to his friend.

A few weeks'll go buy, like they always do, and Ryan'll be face to face with Bam again. They'll have the same argument again, and Ryan will almost believe Bam as he says, "Last time, I promise."

psychoticpony @ 2006-12-20T00:05:00

2006-12-19T13:16:33Z

Title: Firsts.
Rating: PG-15, with mentions of sex
Pairings: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Summary: Bam's obsessed with firsts.
Disclaimer: DK, DO, NH.
A/N: I made a deal with ash_neenan. I told her to post this in exchange for me writing a fic. So go read her drabble so I don't feel like I wasted my time.

Bam was obessed with firsts.

The first time they met was backstage at a concert. Bam was rocking on his heels, adrenaline coursing through his veins. Ville was casually trying to light a cigarette and looking at Bam the way he would with any groupie. Even as Bam explained that he was on TV, famous, a big fan and all that, he noticed Ville's expression didn't change. If anything, he looked bored. Bam offered up a reassuring smile, hoping to impress the band.

All Ville said was "Don't touch our beer."

The first time they hugged was completely random, and mostly Ville's fault. Bam couldn't remember it all that clearly, but he knew that it involved alcohol, him stumbling over drunk and Ville catching him. Ville was good at that, even though he was sure Ville had the same, if not more, to drink. But yet the singer picked him up, brushed him off and gave him a hug. Bam knew he had returned the hug; not because he actually remembered the deed, but because he remembered how good Ville's neck had smelt.

The first time they kissed was by accident, and was so out-of-the-movies that Bam really didn't think it counted. But Ville said it did, so Bam didn't argue. It was literally a kiss that happened because Bam turned his head at the wrong moment, so insted of Ville's lips brushing his cheek, they pressed against his own. They also stayed like that for a good couple of seconds because Bam was slightly in shock, even though it was just a peck. Bam would deny it to anyone that brought it up later, although he always remembered the smoothness of Ville's lips, and the slight taste of strawberry flavoured lip balm.

The first time they made out was against a hotel door, they had both been drunk and that was pretty much all Bam could remember. The rest of the story was based on eye-witness testimonies, of which there were none. So Bam didn't know shit about thier first make-out session.

He could barely remember the first blowjob, either. It was wet, sloppy, he nearly gagged and he spit out Ville's come. It was embarassing, and he couldn't look Ville in the eye for the rest of the night.

The first time they had sex, they were drunk, and Bam was well aware of that reoccuring theme. It hurt. A lot. But Bam remembered the way Ville tried to soothe him with sloppy kisses and soft touches. He didn't come from it, but he remembered that there was something pleasing about feeling the entire length of Ville's cock buried inside him. Bam knew that Ville whispered something about it being better next time, before he slithered down Bam's body and finished him off with a blowjob.

The first time they made love, Ville was leaning back against the headboard with Bam in his lap. Bam's had his arms wrapped around Ville's shoulders while Ville had his hands on Bam's hips. They had rocked together slowly at first, building up to a gentle, frothing insanity. Bam had kept eye contact the entire time, until Ville's fingers curled around his cock and tugged, sending him over the edge. Bam's head had tipped back as he came.

He remembered crying out Ville's name.

The first time Ville said "I love you" was onstage. It was indirect, Bam knew it was meant for him. He could tell, because Ville had looked up to the balcony where Bam was. Bam would never forget the way Ville leaned into the mircophone and announce that "The next song is for you, darling. I love you."

Bam had gone back to the hotel with Ville and practically fucked him into the mattress.

The first time Bam said "I love you" was several months later. He didn't even mean to, and it wasn't done in any special or meaningful way. Bam was pretty sure he said it in a casual, "Thanks, babe, I love you" kind of way. Probably because Ville had just done something for him. Bam really didn't know or care. But he remembered the way Ville's face lit up just that little bit, and the soft kiss he had received in thanks. That was it, no big parades, no big gestures, just something simple and basic.

The first time they celebrated Valentine's Day together, Bam had spent the entire day in a huff because he hadn't gotten anything. He wouldn't even accept Ville's apology, thinking that "because he didn't celebrate it, or know that Bam celebrated it", was not a good excuse. Bam made Ville sleep on the couch, but only for an hour because the bed was cold. Bad had also recieved a rather large bunch of long-stemmed red roses the next day, although Ville claimed he had nothing to do with it.

The first time they had kinky sex, Ryan Dunn had walked in. Ville was wearing a sexy, little PVC nurse's outfit, and Bam's wrists were tied to the bedposts with a pair of red, fishnet stockings. Ville was also riding him into the mattress, and Bam loved the fact that he didn't stop, even when Ryan stood in the doorway, looking slightly embarassed. Bam almost thought that Ville didn't even realise that Dunn had walked in.

The first time Ville had proposed, Bam didn't quite believe what he was saying. They were lounging outside, on one of those really nice nights. Bam had Ville's head in his lap, and Ville had just looked up and asked. Bam was sure the he didn't hear properly, or misunderstood. But he didn't, because Ville asked again, "Will you marry me?"

This was the first time Bam would get married. Sorta. They weren't even "getting married", this was just the official registering bullshit. He was meant to be meeting Ville here at quarter-past, but it was now seventeen-past and Bam was pacing. He was nervous. Only he wouldn't admit it. He was trying to calm himself by thinking through all of his first's with Ville, and nearly went into a panic when he ran out. There would be no more firsts.

This panic lasted until he and Ville shared thier first kiss as a married couple and Bam grinned like crazy, for reasons Ville couldn't understand. When he asked about it, all Bam said was that they were doing it all over again.

For the very first time.

Drabble.

2006-12-16T04:50:14Z

Title: Wasting Away
Rating: G? PG?
Pairing: Intended to be Bam/Missy.
Warnings: Eating Disorder.
Word Count: 338.
A/N: For Carley, my het-parter and who subliminally gave me this bunny

She's not stupid.

Nor blind, nor deaf. She hears the rumours, the anxious glances and the whispered words of 'too thin' and 'eating disorder'. They talk of anorexia, of getting smaller and smaller. She finds it funny that they're talking about her. Not him. No, they think he's incredibly sexy. Sleek, tanned muscles, tiny frame; a skater's body. They want him to stay this way and they want her to eat something. They think he's healthy.

But they don't see him, not the way she does. She's the one who watches him pacing through the kitchen, agonising over whether to eat or not. She sees him push his food around his plate, creating the illusion that he's eaten, when, really, the fork hasn't gone near his mouth. She knows he'll take forever looking at a menu, casting longing glances at the fatty, fufilling foods before he just settles on a salad. She sees his critical looks in the mirror each morning, as he grabs as invisible fat and frowns.

She sees him now, asleep beside her. Her painted nails trace over skin that's stretched taut over ribs. He's trying to be someone he's not, with clearly defined ribs, a concave stomach and hollow cheeks. He believes that is perfection. She sighs softly, resting on her elbow and watching him sleep. He's peaceful like this. She wants to keep him in thier bed forever, she wants to keep him safe from the world and the self-destructive path he's set himself on. She can stay here, and pretend that she hasn't woken up in the middle of the night and heard him retching in the bathroom.

She closes her eyes, tucking her head under his chin. His arm snakes around her small waist, and she sighs sadly. When he's awake, he so easily convinces her that there's nothing wrong and that she's just imagining things, but when he's asleep, she realises it's all lies. She realises he's wasting away.

What scares her the most is that she doesn't think she can stop him.

psychoticpony @ 2006-09-14T20:13:00

2006-09-14T10:15:46Z

Still no writing from me, and for that I apologise. I don't know where my muse it right now, but she's not here.

I'll get things done as soon as I can. SOON. I promise.

In the mean time, incase you don't check my main journal, go check out sadeinightshade. I'm pimping her out, and she's awesome. So go read what she's got and comment, ya hear me?

♥ you all, darlings. Watch this space, promise.

Table, Fanfic100 Challenge.

2006-09-07T11:48:30Z

001.	Beginnings.	002.	Middles.	003.	Ends.	004.	Insides.	005.	Outsides.
006.	Hours.	007.	Days.	008.	Weeks.	009.	Months.	010.	Years.
011.	Red.	012.	Orange.	013.	Yellow.	014.	Green.	015.	Blue.
016.	Purple.	017.	Brown.	018.	Black.	019.	White.	020.	Colourless.
021.	Friends.	022.	Enemies.	023.	Lovers.	024.	Family.	025.	Strangers.
026.	Teammates.	027.	Parents.	028.	Children.	029.	Birth.	030.	Death.
031.	Sunrise.	032.	Sunset.	033.	Too Much.	034.	Not Enough.	035.	Sixth Sense.
036.	Smell.	037.	Sound.	038.	Touch.	039.	Taste.	040.	Sight.
041.	Shapes.	042.	Triangle.	043.	Square.	044.	Circle.	045.	Moon.
046.	Star.	047.	Heart.	048.	Diamond.	049.	Club.	050.	Spade.
051.	Water.	052.	Fire.	053.	Earth.	054.	Air.	055.	Spirit.
056.	Breakfast.	057.	Lunch.	058.	Dinner.	059.	Food.	060.	Drink.
061.	Winter.	062.	Spring.	063.	Summer.	064.	Fall.	065.	Passing.
066.	Rain.	067.	Snow.	068.	Lightening.	069.	Thunder.	070.	Storm.
071.	Broken.	072.	Fixed.	073.	Light.	074.	Dark.	075.	Shade.
076.	Who?	077.	What?	078.	Where?	079.	When?	080.	Why?
081.	How?	082.	If.	083.	And.	084.	He.	085.	She.
086.	Choices.	087.	Life.	088.	School.	089.	Work.	090.	Home.
091.	Birthday.	092.	Christmas.	093.	Thanksgiving.	094.	Independence.	095.	New Year.
096.	Writer‘s Choice.	097.	Writer‘s Choice.	098.	Writer‘s Choice.	099.	Writer‘s Choice.	100.	Writer‘s Choice.

They're all going to focus around Ville. That way I can have Vam AND Villinde. And anything else that takes my fancy.

Help.

2006-09-06T13:01:48Z

I really want to do one of those writing tables, preferrably for Vam.

However, all the comms I've found so far seem to have that pairing taken. So can anyone recommend me a slash challenge community that, preferrably, doesn't have my damn OTP taken?

ETA: Or would you rather see me write Villinde? Or I could do just a Ville focused table. Or a Bam focused table.

psychoticpony @ 2006-08-29T20:08:00

2006-08-29T10:09:30Z

Until further notice, I'm going on hiatus. Some serious personal problems have suddenly come up in my life, and I don't have the energy or the spirit to do this. Hopefully I shouldn't be away too long, but I thank you in advance for understanding.

D-boys.

2006-08-24T01:44:53Z

You know, I had the majority of it typed up, but then my laptop died.

So, guess what?

Dormitory Boys is on hiatus until my motherfucking laptop WORKS.

Review

2006-08-21T16:55:15Z

Did this for English. It's a review.

It's around midday, a good seven hours before the doors of Sydney's Luna Park Big Top open, but yet there's already thirty or so people standing in queue. Most of them don't know each other, yet here they are, chatting away like they haven't got a seven hour wait ahead of them. It's literally a sea of black, and any ignorant bystander would be highly curious as to why they're here, in a theme park of all places. However, one look at them would give it away. Every single person is somehow branded with what looks like a satanic pretzel. It's on their hats, their clothes, their shoes and even on their skin. It's called a heartagram, and to them it represents their musical ambrosia - a band called HIM.

Flash forward seven and a half hours. It's sunset, and that thirty people line has transformed into three thousand. It's a sold out show, and quite literally a winding black snake, trailing throughout the park. The doors open, tickets are taken and the venue fills like quickfire. The fans are restless and impatient. They want their gods and they want them now. It's HIM's first tour to Australia, and they've commanded an impressive audience - especially for a five-member band from Finland. However, it's not surprising. This is a band that's poised on the brink of world domination. They have six albums under their belts, have created one of the most recognisable symbols in the music world and are fronted by Ville Valo. They have an army of fans in the rock world, a small portion of which have shown up tonight to see them.

Even the deaf could hear the screams that sound out as Valo and Co. take the stage. Not surprisingly, the screams have a noticeable female edge. It's no secret that Valo is good looking, but that's nothing until he croons about love and death. Which he does, with a backing chorus of three thousand fans. There's a table behind him; six bottles of water and a six-pack of VB beer sits upon it. Yes sir, this is a rock show.

Musically, it's a rock show, too. The band pumps out song after song flawlessly. Their onstage chemistry is like no other: bass, guitar, drums, keyboard and vocals mesh together in a passionate melody. Valo's voice sounds like cigarettes and gravel mixed with red wine and silk. It's enthralling and the fans agree. Most importantly, the band looks like they're having fun. They're enjoying playing their music, they're enjoying being onstage and they look overwhelmed with the response. More then once, Valo gestures behind him for the band to quiet down. He wants to hear the fans, and he does. Word perfect.

They're here to entertain. Valo interacts with the crowd whenever it's possible. At one point, he stops singing to make sure everyone is okay. This band is on tonight. The set is tight, the music flawless and the entire show is pulled off in a way that makes it looks effortless. It may be anything but, but HIM is a band that knows how to entertain.

Valo raises his hand, making the universal gesture of hard rock - two fingers extended upwards in the infamous horns. Three thousand people return the gesture. Valo commands an army here, and this is an army that will go home happy. Their bodies hurt, they've been waiting a lifetime for this - was it worth it? Without a doubt.

HIM will be back.

psychoticpony @ 2006-08-13T23:07:00

2006-08-13T13:08:27Z

Okay. I'm an attention whore.

No, actually. This is for the consideration of my flist on strangelyshaded, and because I seem to have a bigger audiance here. And I really value all you guy's opinions.

Photo journal: teapotsandtrees. Read, friend, comment?

Please?

You'll make me happy.

Fiction: Dormitory Boys (Chapter 11)

2006-07-27T07:34:39Z

Guess what? I'm... not leaving the community. Jesus. How hard is it to play nice? If I can manage it, surely you can.

With that. More D-boys.

Title: Dormitory Boys
Author: strangelyshaded/psychoticpony
Pairing: Ville Valo/Bam Margera. Others.
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17, depending on chapter.
Summary: At the Kiski Private Boys Boarding School, there's a new transfer student. When he shares a dorm room with Bam, however, anything could happen.
Notes: This is an on-going series. Updates will be whenever. violetdollie is MIA. This is an AU, and Fiction. And not original, I'm sorry. Actually, no I'm not. Because I know how to make a story my own.

Chapters 1-5
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten

"So... you guys are like... dating?"

"Nope."

"But you're together?"

"No, we're not that either."

"You're just friends?"

"I wish. No."

"Then what the fuck are you two?"

Bam paused, halfway through popping his gum, and thought about the question. It was a good one; he really didn't know what he and Ville were. Officially, they were friends that fucked around when they were horny. "Friends with benefits", if you wanted to get technical. But that implied that it was just sex, and nothing more, which definately wasn't true. Bam knew Ville wasn't ever going to admit it, but he liked Bam. He liked Bam more then he should, and Bam could see it.

"We're... you know, I really don't know, Ryan." Bam said, popping his gum slowly.

"You don't know what you guys are?"

"Nope."

"Well, what do you want to be?"

Bam paused again. He thought it over for a second, before he said, "Exclusive."

"You want him to be your boyfriend?"

"No, that's lame."

"Oh, yeah. 'Hi, Bammie...'," Ryan said, putting on a falsetto voice to somehow mimick Ville. "'Will you be my boyfriend? We can walk down the street holding hands.'"

"I don't speak like that, Ryan." Ville's smooth voice said, causing Bam to jump and Ryan to flush slightly. Ville sat down, and gave Bam a look. Bam wondered briefly how much of the conversation Ville had heard, and hoped it wasn't too much. That was the last thing he needed.

"Boyfriend?"

Damn.

"I don't want you to be my boyfriend, Ville." Bam said, figeting in his seat. This was awkward.

"I'm certainly not going to be your girlfriend, if that's what you're thinking." Ville said, a smile playing over his lips.

"No, it's not... I just..." He paused, and shot Ryan a look.

"Yeah, yeah. I get the hint." Ryan said, getting to his feet and grabbing his bag. "I'll see you in class, Bam. Catch you later, Ville."

Bam nodded, then turned back to Ville, who had a slightly expectant look on his face. "What?"

"You just?" Ville said, leaning on his hand and watching Bam squirm in his seat. It was amusing, to say the least.

Bam murmured to himself, before sighing and looking up as he said, "I want you to myself."

"Selfish much, Bam?"

"If that's what you want to call it. I mean, I'm not asking you to come out, or anything." Bam said, looking around the dining room and lowering his voice. Just incase. "I just... you know, in our room. Or along those lines. I don't want to just be fuck buddies, or friends with benefits. I want you, and I want only you."

"You know," Ville mused, his lips quirking up in a smile. "If you want to ask me out, you should just get around to it."

"Dammit, Ville. I'm being serious." Bam said, frowning a little. "I know you're all like 'Eww, boyfried', but I mean it. I want to be."

"My dear Bammie, I do believe you're blushing."

"Shut up." Bam muttered, indeed feeling his cheeks going a little red. This was beginning to be much harder then he expected. He began to think he should've rehersed it infront of the mirror. "I'm just saying I want to be--"

"Exclusive?" Ville said, cutting him off.

Bam nodded and said, "Yeah. Exclusive. I want you to myself, because I'm selfish and I like the fact that I might be able to call you my boyfriend, and.."

"Bammie, dear," Ville said, pressing a cool hand over Bam's mouth to silence him. "You're rambling."

"Sorry." Bam mumbled from behind Ville's hand.

"You want to be my boyfriend? Is that it?" He said, raising an eyebrow. Bam nodded again, and Ville sighed. "I suppose I wouldn't mind being exclusive. Not too much. I mean, I'm not exactly fucking around with anyone else, am I? So there's no point not being exclusive."

Bam grinned, then clarified, "But I'm not asking you to come out or anything, dude. Behind closed doors, you know? I'm not asking you to kiss me in public."

"Bammie," Ville sighed. "Do you really think I care about that? Honestly? I don't exactly try to hide the fact that I like boys."

"You never kiss anyone in public." Bam said.

There was a brief shifting down and Bam felt the front of his shirt being grabbed as he was pulled over the table between he and Ville. Suddenly there was a pair of lips on his, and it didn't take much guessing as to who they belonged to. Bam melted into Ville's kiss effortlessly, bracing one hand against the table and threading the other through his roommate's hair. The dining room around him began to fade out, although he did hear the muttered conversations falter as they became the centre of attention. Bam sighed, parting his lips and letting his tongue brush over Ville's, thier kiss deepening. Ville's hands still clutched at his shirt, and Bam's mind finally registered that Ville was kissing him, another boy, in the middle of the dining room. Although, judging by the varing jeers and catcalls Bam could hear throughout the room, he wasn't the only one to realise it.

"Jesus, look at them go."

"Fucking fags."

"Isn't that Bam?"

"Isn't it that freaky foreign exchange student?"

"Are they allowed to do that?"

"They're kissing. Gross."

Bam felt his collar grabbed as he and Ville were pulled apart. He looked up and swallowed a little at the sight of the Dean.

"My office, boys. Now." He said, face giving no indication of whether this was going to turn out good or bad. Bam looked down at Ville, who shrugged and let himself be marched out of the dining room. Bam stumbled along behind, trying to get the Dean to let go of his collar.

This wasn't going to be good.

~~sex next~~ GO FRIEND MY WRITING JOURNAL! IT PAYS OFF, DAMMIT!

Ps. I like comments the way I love chocolate and Ville Valo.

RIP Syd.

2006-07-14T10:56:15Z

Shine on you crazy diamond.

psychoticpony @ 2006-07-03T03:47:00

2006-07-01T17:47:21Z

I NEED ONE MORE DRABBLE!

COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT!

psychoticpony @ 2006-06-30T10:53:00

2006-06-29T07:54:11Z

For you guys, because I'm bored.

MEME: The first 5 people to comment on this post get to request drabbles (real drabble: 100 words exactly) from you. Post all fandoms you're willing to write for.

Your friends can pick a relationship, a story arc, a missing scene, or pretty much any thing they want, unless the author has previously mentioned that they will not write it. They comment with what they want, and you write drabbles and post it in your LiveJournal.

Try to keep it HIM/Viva La Bam related?

If you've commented on my other journal, you don't get to comment here, too!

Fiction: Dormitory Boys (Chapter 10)

2006-06-28T17:29:36Z

I'm back.

Title: Dormitory Boys
Author: strangelyshaded/psychoticpony
Pairing: Ville Valo/Bam Margera. Others.
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17, depending on chapter.
Summary: At the Kiski Private Boys Boarding School, there's a new transfer student. When he shares a dorm room with Bam, however, anything could happen.
Notes: This is an on-going series. Updates will be whenever. violetdollie is possum down the chimney. This is is an AU fic. I love me my highschool Vam. To conjure_lass.

Chapters 1-5
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine

Physics was difficult, Bam reasoned as he stared at the gibberish written in the workbook in front of him. None of it made sense. They were answering what were apparently “easy questions” while the teacher handed out test and homework results. Bam slouched in his chair, tossling his hair and letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Vil--“ He began, shifting and looking at his roommate.

“No.” Ville cut him off, moving his workbook away from Bam and continuing to write. “You’re never going to pass if you continue to copy my answers.”

Bam shot him a glare, before a paper was laid on his desk. He looked up at the teacher, Miss Allistor, and grimaced as she gave him a stern look. He turned up the corner of the page, enough to see the bright, bold ‘E’ circled in on the paper, before smiling at her apologetically.

“You need to clean up your act, Mr. Margera. I expect more from you.” She said, before handing Ville his paper. Ville turned it up, and Bam caught a glimpse of the ‘B’ written on his. That couldn’t be fair. Ville was foreign and he was still getting better marks.

Bam huffed softly, sinking further into his chair.

“Okay, boys, finish with those questions and look up here.” Miss Allistor said, pointing to the whiteboard upon which more complicated terms and diagrams were written. Bam looked at them; squinted, tilted his head and went cross-eyed. He still couldn’t understand them, so he just settled for staring at the board.

“Quit looking at it like it’s the spawn of Satan.” Ville’s rich voice said near his ear.

“I don’t understand it.” Bam said, rolling his eyes. “Therefore it’s the spawn of Satan.”

“Concentrate.” Ville murmured. Bam yawned, and fell into silence. He leaned his head onto his hand, listening to the teacher’s droning voice as she talked about Phsyics. He felt his brain going fuzzy, and he stifled a yawn, beginning to draw small patterns on the tabletop with his pencil. He glanced over at Ville, rolling his eyes when he noticed his roommate was actually paying attention to what was being said.

"You're actually listening?" Bam muttered under his breath, giving Ville a confused look. "Why?"

"Because, Bam, some of us are actually planning on passing Physics this year." Ville sighed with exasperation. "Unlike you, I have to get good marks or else I'm in shit. I'm an exchange student, my parents won't see the funny side of them blowing several grand so I can fail. I did that back in Finland."

"My marks aren't that bad." Bam said defensively, slumping in his chair. Ville leant over and flipped over his paper, tapping a finger over the circled 'E'.

"Not that bad?" Ville asked. Bam glared at him and snatched his paper away, tucking it behind his book.

"Shut the fuck up. Just because I'm not as fantastic at school as you are, doesn't mean I'm stupid. I'm not stupid, sometimes I just have problems with this shit."

"Bammie," Ville sighed, shifting in his seat to look at Bam. "I never said you were stupid. You're not. You're really smart when you need to be, just the times when you need to be are usually not in school. Your only problem is that you don't understand the basic concepts. If you don't understand the basic concepts, then you're not going to get the more complicated stuff, see? You just need someone to explain the basics to you."

Bam glanced over to the teacher, then back to Ville. He raised an eyebrow slowly and studied the paper in his hand. It was true, really. When he looked at the questions, he didn't understand how to work them out, because he didn't know where to start. It was the same with Maths, too. It was all numbers and letters and formuli and equations in these kinds of subjects. All he saw was a mess of numbers.

"Ville, if you tutor me, we'd only end up getting distracted." He said softly. Ville laughed.

"I'm sure you can show some restraint, right, Bam?" He questioned softly. Bam felt a the burning heat of Ville's hand as it settled on his thigh under the table. He looked over at Ville, who was now innocently facing forwards, his chin resting on his other hand as he watched Miss Allistor talk.

"You are not going to do what I think you're going to do." Bam hissed, giving Ville a pointed look. The only response he got was Ville's hand sliding further up his leg, fingers drumming a tattoo on the inside of his thigh.

Bam leant back, trying to ignore the feeling. There was no way Ville would think about doing this in class. Even if it was under the desk, it was still in class. It would be so easy to get caught; all it would take was one small noise from Bam to be noticed. Ville's hand slid higher and Bam bit into his lip, folding his arms on the desk and letting his head rest in the crook of his elbow. He briefly heard Ville's soft chuckle, before most of the outside world disappeared from his notice. Ville's hand was resting over his cock, just a thin pair of boxers and the cotton school slacks seperating skin from skin. He felt himself grow harder almost immediately, and looked over in time to see Ville's smirk.

"Stop that." He hissed, although his voice hitched when Ville's hand squeezed his cock slightly.

"Why?" Ville asked, his voice low and his eyes still looking forward, for all the world looking like he wasn't doing anything wrong. Except Bam knew he was doing something wrong, because Bam could feel it. He looked down at his textbook, gripped his pencil tightly and tried to ignore the way Ville's fingers were expertly tugging on the zip on his pants.

"We're in class, Ville!" Bam hissed, before biting his lip so a soft whimper didn't escape.

"So? You can be quiet, can't you?" Ville said, glancing briefly at Bam with his eyebrow raised.

"Not with your hand down my pan-- aah!" Bam buried his face against the crook of his elbow, squeezing his eyes shut. Ville's fingers continued thier slow, teasing stroking of Bam's cock.

"Mister Margera, is there something you'd like to share with the class?" Miss Allistor said slowly. Bam was acutely aware of everyone's eyes on him, and he suddenly found himself flushing red. Ville's hand tightened, but thankfully stopped moving.

"N-No.." Bam was horribly aware of the way his voice stuttered out. He cleared his throat and tried again. "No, Miss. Just talking. Won't happen again."

"That it won't. Or else I'll seperate you and Mr. Valo, if you cannot pay attention." Miss Allistor said, looking at the two boys for a moment, before turning back to the board.

"Shit." Bam said softly, slumping back in his chair. Ville was smirking slighlty, waiting patiently for the class to return to their various acts of mundane boredness. He leaned over to whisper into Bam's ear.

"See? If you don't be quiet she'll move us. And if she moves us, then you won't get anymore of this." He muttered, his hand slowly beginning to move along Bam's cock again. Bam bit into his lip and gripped the tabletop, swallowing heavily and trying to ignore the way his muscles began to tighten. This definately wasn't fair. Being jerked off in the bathroom wasn't so bad, however being jerked off in the middle of class was a completely different matter.

Bam looked over at Ville. Somehow, he was managing to concentrate on his work, and didn't at all look like he had a hand wrapped around Bam's dick. Of course, Bam knew otherwise, but Ville still managed to look completely innocent. It would have been infuriating, if it didn't feel so good.

"I hate you." Bam muttered, feeling his body begin to tremble. He tried to control himself, barely letting a sound out even though he was dying to scream. There was a familiar warmth pooling in his groin, and he closed his eyes, resting his head in his arms. Fuck the class, fuck the teacher, fuck the entire room; he needed to come.

"I know." Ville said, dragging his thumb over the head of Bam's cock. He looked around, before leaning over and murmuring huskily into Bam's ear. "Come for me... you look so hot when you do."

Bam made a choked, whimpering sound, quickly biting down on his arm to stop anything else escaping his lips. All it took was a few more quick strokes from Ville, before pleasure coarsed through his body as he shook and came hard into his hand, eyes clenched shut and teeth sunk firmly into his arm.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked around. Nobody was paying any attention to them, or seemed to have any indication of what had happened. Bam swallowed and looked up at Ville, who was looking rather smug.

"I can see how much you hate me." Ville said, smirking slightly as he removed his hand from Bam's pants. Bam would've glared if he didn't feel so boneless. He looked around the classroom again, watching everyone get up as the end-of-class bell rung. Ville stood up next to him, patting him on the shoulder. "Zip up before you stand up, Bammie."

Bam groaned, and dropped his head onto his arms. He was going to have a long talk to Ville later about appropriate times and places.

But first he was going to go change his pants before his next class.

Fiction : Enjoy The Silence

2006-05-15T07:45:17Z

Short, pointless, fluffy story.

Title: Enjoy The Silence
Author: strangelyshaded/psychoticpony
Rating: PG
Summary: Silence and ordinary mundane routines.
A/N: Um. Totally pointless fluff. With a pregnant Ville.

It was a familiar kind of silence. The warm, comforting silence that hung in the air when there was nothing that needed to be said. The kind of silence that could only be achieved between close lovers. Bam smiled at the silence. It was something new and interesting for him, and it fascinated him. Not that he would break the silence to ask about it to the other, but he longed to bottle this silence, to keep it with him for when things got hectic.

This particular round of quiet came when Bam was up to his elbows in warm, sudsy water. He was washing dishes, specifically those that couldn’t, or wouldn’t, go in the dishwasher. He lifted his hands out, grabbed another plate and scrubbed at it underwater. Several seconds later he placed it on the dish rack to his left, where a thinner, paler pair of hands brushed against his as they took the plate to be dried. Bam looked over to his left, and smiled at what he saw.

Ville had his head bent in concentration as he dried the plate off, before adding it to a stack of three others. His dark hair was even with his jaw line, just beginning to curve and curl. His lips turned up slightly in a smile, as some pleasing thought passed through his head. Bam trailed his eyes down Ville’s body, to the growing bump that was his stomach. Even though Ville’s initial reaction to the pregnancy was something less then pleasing, he had quickly gotten used to the idea. Although he tried to hide it, Bam had often caught him looking over a book detailing various baby names, or resting a hand on his stomach as he sung softly. At first, he’d nearly gone into a panic attack at having something more then his near-concave stomach. Now, with only months to go, he was glowing, extended stomach and all. He looked healthy, even in his current dishevelled, tired state.

It was just after nine, and Bam knew that once these dishes had been done, Ville would climb the stairs to their bedroom and retire for the night. Bam would not join him for several hours, at the least. This pregnancy had taken its toll on his body, making Ville do things he normally wouldn’t. The first thing was his cigarettes, that Bam had made sure of. Despite all of Ville’s whining and pleading, Bam had thrown them out, and expressed strong orders to his band mates not to let him have any more. The drinking and staying up until obscene hours of the morning was next. Bam made sure Ville ate more, slept more and slowly began to tour less. Stress, he had said, was not something Ville needed. Eventually, though, Ville had conceded, and soon found that he didn’t need Bam to make sure he slept enough. His body demanded it of him.

Bam handed over the last plate, before pulling the sink plug and watching the water slowly drain. He turned the tap, rising off his arms and drying them off on the hand towel. He moved to pick up Ville’s stack of plates, putting them away where they belonged, before turning to his lover. Ville was watching him with a smile.

“What?” Bam said, tilting his head curiously. Ville laughed and stepped closer, leaning down to brush his lips against Bam’s cheek.

“Nothing sweetheart. Just enjoying the silence.” He said.

“Make the most of it.” Bam grumbled. “Once the brat comes, you’re going to be wishing it was legal to smother them.”

Ville hit his arm, before turning and walking slowly over to the stairs. It wasn’t so much the pregnancy, as the fatigue that slowed him down. He looked over his shoulder at Bam. “No I won’t. You’re going to have night duty.”

Bam scrunched his nose, just as Ville disappeared, before going over to the fridge and pulling out a single bottle of beer. He’d watch TV for a while, before heading upstairs.

---

Colours flickered over his face, as Bam jerked out of a light doze. His head was pillowed on his arm, his body stretched out over the couch. He focused briefly on the TV, watching an infomercial on some anti-acne cream that could be his for a ridiculously high price. He recognised it for a some reason, as if he’d heard one of his many celebrity friends talk about it. Bam looked over at the clock, groaning softly as the numbers read twenty to two, before looking back at the TV. Jessica Simpson was on, singing her praise over this ache cream.

He didn’t even know she had acne.

Bam pulled himself upright, fumbling for the remote and turning off the TV. He yawned, stretched and stood, finding his way to the stairs. Ville would be out cold by this time, and Bam doubted the end of the world could wake him. His footsteps were a muffled creak on the stairs, as he made his way towards the bedroom. He’d lived here for years without Ville, this house being part of his MTV escapades. It was very much a dream house; with it purple walls and dark floors. It was thick with memories of the times his friends lived here, of when there was cameras following his every move. Although, that had all faded. The show had ended, his friends had moved out. A matter of principle, they had said. Just because he was rich and famous, didn’t mean they couldn’t support themselves. It was just he and Ville here now, with their own set of memories. Here was where he had interrogated each of his friends over his missing Lamborghini, but it was also where Ville had treated him to a romantic dinner the night before he had to leave on tour.

Bam pushed open their bedroom door slowly. The room was dark, but he could make out the bed and the figure wrapped in its covers. He stripped out of his clothes blindly, leaving them on the floor for now as he cautiously made his way to the bed. He was being careful not to wake Ville, even though he was certain that it was rather impossible at this moment. Bam pulled back the covers, sliding in carefully and feeling the mattress sink beneath his weight. Ville shifted, and looked over his shoulder.

“Bammie?” He asked, suddenly awake in a way only a lover could be. His speech was slurred, bleary from sleep. Bam smiled, moving onto his side to kiss Ville’s shoulder.

“I fell asleep on the couch. Go back to sleep.” He said soothingly. Ville murmured something unintelligible and curled back up, falling quickly back into sleep. Bam noted that Ville had shifted closer, soaking in the warmth and comfort of Bam’s body. Bam moved his arm around Ville’s body, hand splayed out on his stomach. He yawned and felt his eyes slip shut. This was a different kind of silence, he reasoned. Sleepy silence. The silence of night time, and darkness, and dreams. Except it really wasn’t that silence. He could hear Ville’s slightly rasping breathing, the wind against the windows, the sound of a cat bell in the hallway. He breathed in deeply, and was asleep by the time he exhaled.

---

More dishes. More silence that accompanied Bam’s dish washing. It was the same routine as every night, his arms wet and covered with soap bubbles. It was a nice routine, familiar and reassuring. He’d scrub at the dishes, then move them to the rack, where Ville would take them, dry them and add them to the stack. He could hear Ville humming faintly under his breath, and Bam had to smile. He would never tire of Ville’s voice. It was essentially, part of this familiar silence. It belonged here.

Bam looked over, and furrowed his brow. Ville had paused, looking distant for a moment. Bam opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Ville beat him, shaking his head and drying the plate in his hand. Bam shrugged, and handed over another dish.

There was the sound of china shattering.

“The fuck?” Bam said, looking down at the broken plate on the floor, then up at Ville. Ville’s face looked confused, and a little surprised. He had a hand braced against the counter, his head dipped slightly.

“Ville?” Bam asked cautiously. Ville looked up suddenly, recognition passing over his face, followed by a wide grin. Bam blinked in confusion as Ville grabbed his hand, pulling it from the water filled sink and pressing it against his stomach. Bam waited patiently, staring at Ville in deeper confusion.

“What are you…?” He trailed off, looking down at Ville’s stomach in amazement. He had barely felt it, but something had moved. A long pause, before Bam felt it again. The baby kicked.

He gained a wide smile, cupping Ville’s cheeks his both his hands and kissing his lover deeply. Ville happily returned the kiss, completely ignoring the way Bam’s hands dripped with water. The smashed plate on the floor and the dishes in the sink all lay forgotten as the two lovers kissed.

After all, Bam would reason later, there were some things worth interrupting the silence for.

Comments for cookies.

Fiction: Dormitory Boys (Chapter 9)

2006-04-02T14:15:15Z

*dangles a chapter infront of your nose* This is for all you guys for being patient with me.

Title: Dormitory Boys
Author: strangelyshaded/psychoticpony
Pairing: Ville Valo/Bam Margera. Others.
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17, depending on chapter.
Summary: At the Kiski Private Boys Boarding School, there's a new transfer student. When he shares a dorm room with Bam, however, anything could happen.
Notes: This is an on-going series. Updates will be whenever. violetdollie is the father of Pete's baby. This is is an AU fic. I love me my highschool Vam. Plus, this one has a special dedication to conjure_lass, because we have a deal.

Chapters 1-5
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight

Bam kicked off his shoes and collapsed onto his bed, glad to be back in his dorm room after a day of classes. It was the day after Ville’s little act in the dining hall, and their situation hadn’t changed. At all. Ville had been gone before Bam had woken up that morning, and now the dorm room was vacant except for Bam himself. In short, neither of them had spoken a word to each other. Not even during class.

Bam sat up, pulling off his blazer and undoing another button on his shirt. His tie was ruined; permenantly stained from Ville’s come. Which meant until he could get his parents to order a new one, Bam was stuck without a tie.

Which actually seemed to be a good thing in his eyes.

Unfortunately, the school didn’t think the same way. This meant Bam has been told to invest in a new tie or face some serious consequences. The problem, however, was explaining to his parents exactly why he needed a new tie.

‘Mom, Dad, I need a new school tie because Ville, my gorgeous Finnish roommate, decided to have sex with me in a school bathroom and then proceeded to clean up his come with my tie. Please send a new tie or the money for a new tie, as soon as possible. Love, Bam.’

Because that would go down well.

The door opened. Bam didn’t bother to look up; he knew who it was. There was only one other person who would just be opening the door and strolling in, and Bam was content to spend a decent amount of time forgetting that other person even existed. His roommate was a bitch and Bam had no desire to share any form of conversation with Ville, whether it was civilised or not. And he had no doubt Ville felt the same.

“Hey.” Ville said softly.

Bam had been wrong before, of course. He grunted softly in reply, focusing on the interesting marks on the ceiling of the room. He even recognised a few of them from his and Chris Raab’s escapades. Ville cleared his throat, and Bam looked down, eyebrow raised in annoyance. Ville smiled, one arm behind his back hiding something.

“What?” Bam asked shortly.

“I said hello, Bammie.” Ville said, moving to sit down on his bed over the other side of the room.

“Hello.” Bam said, tilting his head back again and closing his eyes. Something soft hit him in the face after a second, and Bam opened his eyes to find a tie half-draped over his eye. He sat up, pulling the tie off and looking at Ville in question.

“Pete had a spare one, and since I know you need a new one and I ruined you last one, I figured I’d get it for you.” Ville said, shrugging slightly. “Call it a make up gift.”

“You need more then a tie to make up for this shit.” Bam said, none the less sitting up and focusing his attention on Ville. At least they were talking, which was an improvement from the last couple of days.

“I haven’t really done anything wrong, you know.” Ville said defensively, crossing his legs underneath his slim body. Bam raised an eyebrow.

“You were all over Juska at lunch.”

“What are you, my girlfriend?” Ville asked.

“I should be something after that bathroom episode.” Bam huffed, folding his arms. Ville laughed.

“You’re still hung up on that?”

“I have a right to! You don’t just go jerking people off in the bathroom and not expect them to have so questions, you know?” Bam said, watching Ville pull a look.

“I’m sorry.” Ville muttered. “Things work differently in Finland, that’s all.”

“You’re not in Finland.” Bam said softly. Ville sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I know. Maybe I’m just confused.” Ville said hesitently, seemingly more like the person Bam had talked to those first couple of days that Ville been here. He had changed since then, like he’d dropped his nice guy persona and had become a slut just to get friends.

“Confused about what?” Bam asked cautiously.

“Confused because… ugh!” Ville said, throwing his hands up. “Confused because I actually like you, and I can’t seem to get that fucking handjob out of my head, which is pissing me off because I’m not like that! I don’t want it on my mind!”

Bam smirked, looking up at Ville expectantly. Ville frowned, before sighing with annoyance.

“Fine, fine.” He said grimly. “I’m sorry. For all the shit I’ve said and stuff.”

“Are you saying you like me?” Bam asked.

“No! I don’t like you, I just…” Ville said quickly, before frowning again. Bam bite his lip so he didn’t laugh at Ville’s confusion.

“Ville. It’s okay, relax. Even if you don’t admit it to yourself, man, I know the truth. Just remember, there’s no one else here but you and me. That makes it a lot harder to hide shit.” Bam said quietly, before pulling his shirt over his head and getting up to go hang it up. He needed to get out of his school clothes. He heard Ville get up and turned his head, watching him put his blazer away.

“Hey Bam?” Ville said after a moment of silence. Bam glanced at him in the mirror, eyebrow raised. Ville smiled slightly. “Can we, um… can we try it out?”

“Try what out?” Bam asked in confused, turning to look at Ville. His roommate geastured around them.

“This.” Ville said, shrugging slightly. “Us. Doing… y’know.”

Bam had to grin. “Are you asking me out, Ville?”

“No!” Ville said quickly, folding his arms in defiance. “I just want to… I dunno. Experiment a little.”

“Experiment a little?” Bam asked.

“Yeah… you know. Friends… oh, fuck, what is it?” Ville muttered. Bam snorted.

“Friends with benefits?” He asked with amusement. Ville snapped his fingers.

“That’s it. Be friends. With benefits.” He said, nodding emphatically. Bam sighed.

“You’re a jerk, you know that?”

“Yeah, I know. Come on, Bammie… you know you want to.” Ville said, walking over and tilting his head with a smile. Bam frowned, then gave in.

“Fine. Friends with benefits. But only beause you’re cute and I really want to kiss you again.” He said carefully. Ville grinned.

“Good, because my classes have actually been kinda dull.”

“Yeah,” Bam said, nodding. “Oh, one thing, though, if we’re going to rock this whole ‘friends that grope each other while no one is looking’ thing…”

“Yeah?” Ville said, raising an eyebrow.

“Tell Lauri to shut up and fuck off, please?” Bam said with an exasperated sigh. Ville laughed.

“Okay. I will. He’s a bitch, you just need to ignore him.” He said, then fell quiet. Bam looked at him in silence, studying Ville’s features with a look of approval. He loved how gorgeous Ville looked, even after a long day of classes. Tossled dark brown hair, green eyes, pale skin, high cheekbones and kissable lips? They made something in his stomach tingle. Ville cleared his throat, licking his lips slowly.

“Bammie?” He said quietly, leaving the question hanging open in the air. Bam reached out, threading his fingers through Ville’s hair and giving one small tug, before Ville’s lips crashed against his in a long-overdue kiss.

Bam sighed softly, opening his mouth for Ville and relishing in the way Ville's tongue moved over his. He closed his eyes, wrapping his other arm around Ville's slender waist as Ville's hands tucked into the back pockets of his slacks. He still didn't quite trust Ville, and this entire 'Friends with Benefits' thing would be comprised of Bam walking on a tightrope around him. It wasn't quite a relationship, which would've been nice, but Bam told himself that he could deal, because at least the 'Friends with Benefits' thing allowed him to kiss Ville like this.

Which, Bam reasoned as he felt Ville's fingers tugging down the zip on his pants, was a very good thing.

Short, I know. Does that make you all happy, hmm? Cookies to everyone, except morphine300mg, because she posts disturbing animated pictures. Comment, please, or violetdollie will poke you with her stick.

Fiction: Dormitory Boys (Chapter 8)

2006-03-28T14:20:33Z

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! I haven't lost any readers, have I?

Title: Dormitory Boys
Author: strangelyshaded/psychoticpony
Pairing: Ville Valo/Bam Margera. Others.
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17, depending on chapter.
Summary: At the Kiski Private Boys Boarding School, there's a new transfer student. When he shares a dorm room with Bam, however, anything could happen.
Notes: This is an on-going series. Updates will be whenever. violetdollie? Who's violetdollie? This is an AU fic. I love me my highschool Vam.

Chapters 1-5
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven

Ville was doing his thing again, and Bam was fast becoming frustrated by it. It was one thing to not talk about what had happened in the bathroom, but Ville wouldn’t even look at Bam right now. It was almost as if they had fallen out, which made no sense to Bam, since a handjob in the school bathroom should mean more then that. But, no, Ville just pretended like it had never happened, and that Bam didn’t exsist. Bam was beginning to think Lauri was right, that he was just a one-off thing, and that hurt more then it should.

He had a detention. He had a detention, and it was entirely Ville’s fault. A breach of uniform policy, apparantly, because Bam hadn’t been wearing his tie. He had to bite his tongue so he didn’t let slip that he wasn’t wearing his tie because Ville has cleaned up his come with it. He had the strangest suspiscion that Professor Jenkins wouldn’t have seen the situation in the same light as Bam had. Although, that was one of the only times Ville had noticed his presence, and that was just a dirty snigger. It was his entire fault.

So, thanks to Ville, Bam was now standing in a classroom, listening to the detention co-ordinator lecture him on proper behaviour. Bam stared at her blankly, watching her erractic hand movements as she spoke.

“Now,” she said. Bam blinked. “You have been assigned to clean the desks, and the whiteboard, in this room. You are sharing the task with a partner, so you get started while I go get him. Bucket, cloth and cleaner are on that front desk.”

Then she left. Bam’s brain took a few moments to catch up to her words, before he gave a resigned sigh and picked up the cloth and spray cleaner, moving the bucket to the floor and proceeding to spray the first desk. The cleaner stunk of artificial lemon. Bam half-heartedly wiped the cloth over the desk, cleaning away pen scribbles and erasing declarations over the love “SW” had for “PC”. He was nearly up to the second row of desks before his partner strolled in.

“Desk cleaning, huh?” Ville said. “I’ve had worse. Picking gum off the underside of the desks comes to mind.”

Bam froze, before slowly turning his head to look at Ville through his hair. Ville actually looked surprised.

“Bammie? What a surprise.”

“Yeah.” Bam said dully, wiping the cloth over the desk and moving onto the next one. Ville cleared his throat, picking up his own cleaner and cloth and staring on the whiteboard.

“So, Bammie--“

“Bam.”

“Bammie. Why are you in detention?” Ville asked, an almost smug tone to his voice.

“I wasn’t wearing my tie.” Bam replied.

“Why?” Ville asked, even though he knew damn well why Bam hadn’t been wearing his tie.

“Maybe because someone got it dirty?” Bam snapped. Ville just snorted and Bam sighed. “Why are you here?”

“Skipping Gym class.” Ville said. Bam paused, then nodded. He could understand that one; Gym was horrible.

“You’re doing a great job for someone who’s meant to be a transfer student from a foreign country” Bam said, causing Ville to snort softly.

“I say, find your niche and make yourself comfortable.” Ville said, spraying the whiteboard liberally with cleaner until the entire room stunk of lemon. Bam briefly wondered what Ville’s “niche” would be, before deciding that he really didn’t want to know. It was probably for the best, really. Bam, himself, just seemeed to be drifting, but he didn’t really think Ville’s philosophies were all too great. Certainly not ones to live your life by.

They cleaned in silence, Bam thinking though everything until he nearly snapped.

“What is your problem, Ville?” Bam said, throwing his rag down. Ville looked up, eyebrow raised in question.

“My problem? What problem?” Ville asked, an almost hesitent edge to his voice.

“You. You’ve just been ignoring me for these past days. I mean, you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen.” Bam said, trying to resist the urge to grab Ville and throttle the look off his face.

“Pretend what did happen?” Ville asked. Bam narrowed his eyes. It was one thing for Ville to act all confused and innocent around everyone else, but it was only Bam here, and they both knew what had happened.

“You can’t just pretend that you didn’t fucking jerk me off in the school bathroom. Ignoring me isn’t going to change the fact that it happened. It happened. You shoved your hand down my pants and you jacked me off.” Bam said, fighting to keep his voice low. Ville had the decency to actually look surprised at Bam’s words, before he quickly covered it with his cool, suave mask.

“Oh, that.” He said.

“Yeah, that.”

“I’m not pretending it didn’t happen, Bammie--“ Ville started, before Bam cut him off.

“Then why are you ignoring me? I’m your fucking roommate, for Christ sakes, you can’t just ignore me.”

“I’m not ignoring you.” Ville said, sounding exasperated, as if he were talking to a small child. “It was a handjob. What’s to talk about? We’re not girls, and unless you want your friends knowing about it, then just leave it. It’s not me that’s hung up on a fucking handjob.”

Bam blinked, before glaring at Ville. “Didn’t it mean anything to you? Doesn’t this make us…? I don’t know.”

Ville actually laughed at that.

“It was just a handjob, Bammie.” He said. “It didn’t mean anything.”

Then he put his cloth down and left the room, leaving Bam with a shocked look and two more rows of desks to clean.

--------

They hadn’t talked. At all. Infact, they spent most of their time pretending each other didn’t even exist. It was hard on Bam, since Ville was his roommate, but he was determined not to be the one to back down. This was Ville’s fault. Ville was the one who had led him on, making him think that Ville actually wanted this, and that Bam wasn’t just another… whatever. Lauri was right, and Bam didn’t want to think about that.

What if it was like that from the start?

Bam shook his head. He wasn’t going to think about it. He wasn’t going to entertain the fact that maybe that was all Ville had wanted. Right from the start, that Ville didn’t actually like him, and he just wanted a way to get off. It appeared he had found his way: Bam.

Bam grit his teeth. He didn’t know what this was bothering him so much. It was just a handjob, and it wasn’t like Ville had promised him anything else. They weren’t in love or anything. Hell, they weren’t even dating. So it shouldn’t have bothered him, but it did, and that annoyed him.

Bam rubbed his eyes and pushed open the door to the dining hall, looking around for Dunn. He saw his friend sitting in the far corner with their other mates and he headed towards them, stomach growling from hunger. Bam looked around him, and paused when he caught sight of Ville sitting at a table with Lauri and three other boys. Two of them seemed to be engrossed in their own conversation, but the third looked like he was greatly enjoying the attention being lavished upon him by Ville. Bam recognised the boy from his Media class; Juska was his name. Bam had never liked him, but now he just thought he was an asshole for taking his Ville.

Wait, his Ville?

Bam swallowed, and moved to go, before Ville looked up, meeting his gaze across the space. Bam stared back; finding himself trapped by the intense green gaze. Ville did have nice eyes, after all. Bam blinked, and Ville broke the stare, turning to look at Juska and cutting him off mid-sentence by pushing him back. Bam watched a disgusted look pass over Ville’s face, before allowing himself the ghost of a smile. He turned away, walking over towards his friends on their table, ignoring the way Ville’s eyes burnt into his back.

Maybe it wasn’t just a handjob to Ville, either.

Remember! Check out psychoticpony for the rest of my shit, or stuff you may have missed.

Also... look what I found! D-Boys pictures. Ooh.
(Ville)
(Bam, laptop and all)

Drabble - 135 words

2006-03-13T08:25:39Z

We run.
That’s all we seem to do now is just run. Through the day and under the sun. Past night and under the stars. It’s like a dream where we’re chasing shadows and things that aren’t there. There’s no one there. We can’t turn back now, though. There’s darkness behind us, and shadows ahead, but beyond them is the horizon. That’s what we live for now. We can’t remember why we started running, but in some part of our mind, we have to keep doing it. Keep running towards that horizon in the hopes of one-day breaking through. But we’re running from nothing, we’re running from nothing in the hopes to save part of ourselves that we don’t even own. We’re broken and unfixable, so we run.
We run.
But we’re running from nothing.

psychoticpony @ 2006-03-10T14:48:00

2006-03-10T03:49:07Z

OMG! D-boys PICTURES!

Ficiton : Choices (Part 1)

2006-03-03T02:22:03Z

Title: Choices
Author: strangelyshaded/psychoticpony
Rating: PG-13 for language.
Pairing: Ville Valo/Bam Margera
Summary: Ville has to make a choice.
A/N: ... There are none? violetdollie doesn't even know about this. Shhhh.

“Good morning, Mr. Valo. Please take a seat”

Ville sat down, and eyed off the person sitting opposite him. Jason Illis, executive at Sire Records. He was wearing a sharp suit; the kind of suit that was worn by people who had their own yacht and private jet. By people who cared only about image and money. The kind worn by record executives. Ville, in contrast, looked like himself. Worn black jeans, black shirt, and red scarf. Jason smiled.

“I bet you wonder why we called you in today.”

“No, I don’t.” Ville said boredly, leaning back in the cushy chair and crossing his legs. He didn’t care why they had called him. Probably to discuss something wrong with this band, the tour or that music. Something that couldn’t go through Seppo. Something that was apparently important enough to pull him away from his sleeping lover at this ridiculous hour of the morning. Needless to say, Ville was grumpy, and to top it off, he craved a cigarette. Jason faltered.

“Ah. Well, we may as well get to the point.” He said, giving a fake, charming smile and leaning forward, resting his elbows on the mahogany desk in front of him.

“Please do.” Ville said, pulling his cigarette packet from his pocket and proceeding to slide on out and light it. Jason sighed.

“It’s about your relationship with Mr. Margera.” He said, clearing his throat. Ville stiffened.

“What about my relationship with Bam?” He asked slowly. Cautiously. There was no way this could go well.

“Well, how to put this?” Jason sat up, gaining a professional yet ‘friendly’ appearance. Ville thought he looked like an idiot about to cause trouble. “Up till now, Sire Records has been accepting of you and Mr. Margera’s relationship. We’ve been adamant about covering it up, choosing to accept that he is beneficial to market sales, and trusting that both of you know your public limits. You both agreed to hide your homosexuality and Sire Records has helped you with that.”

He paused, and Ville arched an eyebrow. “But…?”

“But,” Jason said. “Sire Records feels that you and Mr. Margera are no longer putting in the effort. It seems that, despite both of you now being engaged to women, the ‘rumours’ of your homosexual relationship are ripe as ever. Sire Records feels this is affecting you, the band and the fans. There has been… evidence of your ‘supposed’ relationship.”

Ville was tense now. He took a long drag of his cigarette. He didn’t know where this record executive has pulled this from, but he didn’t want to know where it was going. “And?”

“And we believe this need to stop.” Jason said. Ville blinked.

“Excuse me?”

“Sire Records,” Jason sighed. “Believes that your relationship is damaging to your, and our, image. Frankly, Mr. Valo, Sire Records tries to be family-friendly. We cannot achieve this if we have parents, and other people, complaining about one of our artists being homosexual and involved in a homosexual relationship. On top of this, your relationship is affecting sales. The American market is sensitive to certain things, and I’m not going to sugar-coat this, but the majority of your fans are female. How many of those fans won’t think you have the same appeal when they discover you are deemed to be a homosexual in a homosexual relationship?”

Ville was practically seething. He couldn’t believe what he was being told. “What are you saying?”

“We’re saying, Mr. Valo, that we no longer want you to be seen with Mr. Margera.” Jason said. Ville gave him a blank look, and he sighed. “We want you to leave Mr. Margera. Break-up with him. End the relationship.”

Ville got to his feet suddenly, bracing his hands on the desk, leaning forward into Jason’s personal space. The record executive didn’t blink. “Get fucked. I am not breaking up with Bam just because it’s what you guys ‘believe’ to be beneficial to sales. Fuck that.”

Jason sighed again. “I’m afraid, Mr. Valo, that this is not discussable. You either end the relationship, or Sire Records is no longer willing to support the band and to have you on our label.”

Ville slumped. “What?”

Jason smiled.

“Make you choice, Mr. Valo.”

Ville opened the front door quietly, stepping in before sliding it shut. He was hoping to avoid Bam’s noticed, delaying the inevitable as long as he could. Unfortunately, Fate didn’t want to agree with him. Bam appeared from the living area, shirtless with a pool cue in hand. He saw Ville and smiled.

“You’re home.” He said, walking up. Ville gave him a forced smile, but turned his head when Bam went to kiss him, his lips brushing against Ville’s cheek instead. Bam gave him a curious look, one Ville would usually find cute, but now found heart-breaking. Ville felt sick, his stomach tightening and twisting with nerves. How was he meant to tell Bam this? The decision he’d made?

“Baby?” Bam asked, touching Ville’s cheek gently. “Are you okay?”

Ville cleared his throat, and then nodded. He pulled away from Bam, moving towards the bedroom. Sans a few clothes spread over the room, most of Ville’s things were stilled packed. After all, he had only arrived a few days ago.

“Ville?” Bam asked softly, leaning against the doorframe as he watched Ville pick up his few belongings. He had a worried, and curious, look on his face. Ville sided.

“What, Bam?” He snapped, trying to keep his composure. Trying to stick with his choice.

“Where are you going? You just got here.” Bam said, a hint of sadness in his voice. “We haven’t even… you know.”

Ville raised an eyebrow, and Bam blushed, looking at the floor. He was talking about sex. They hadn’t, because up until now, Ville had been too exhausted from his flight. He had been planning to make love to Bam tonight, until he had been called to his meeting.

“I’m leaving. Going Home. To Helsinki.” Ville said, walking into the bathroom to get his toothbrush. When he returned, Bam was sitting on the bed next to Ville’s bag. Ville jerked away when Bam tried to touch him, ignoring the hurt look on Bam’s face, and the stab of guilt in his gut.

“Why?” Bam asked softly. Ville made a noise of frustration and turned to Bam, his voice rising.

“Because I don’t want to be here anymore!” Ville said, grabbing his bag. Bam stilled looked confused, like a hurt puppy dog. “Jesus, you’re an idiot! I’m leaving you. We’re over.”

Bam paused, and then looked shocked. “What? Why?”

“Because I’m done with this. I’m sick of your ass-kissing bullshit. I did love you, Bam, but now you’re just an immature, annoying brat.” Ville said venomously, stepping away from the bed. He pretended not to see the hurt on Bam’s face.

“You… but I… No, Ville…” He said weakly, getting to his feet and reaching for Ville. Ville stepped back, giving Bam’s hand a dirty look.

“Get away from me.” He said. Bam stopped, looking hopelessly dejected. He was trembling, tears forming in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. Whatever I did, I’m sorry.” He said softly, biting his lip.

“We’re over, Bam.” Ville said, turning his back to Bam and walking to the door. He didn’t spare a glance back as he walked out, ignoring the choked sob and the sound of knees hitting a hardwood floor as he left.

He had made his choice.

Not over! I love them too much to kill them. Next Part.. um...

Fiction: Dormitory Boys (Chapter 7)

2006-03-02T11:31:52Z

Title: Dormitory Boys
Author: strangelyshaded/[Bad username: psychotic pony]
Pairing: Ville Valo/Bam Margera. Others.
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17, depending on chapter.
Summary: At the Kiski Private Boys Boarding School, there's a new transfer student. When he shares a dorm room with Bam, however, anything could happen.
Notes: This is an on-going series. Updates will be whenever. violetdollie is love with cheese and therefore has NOTHING to do with this fic. This is an AU fic. I love me my highschool Vam.

Chapters 1-5
Chapter Six

Bam yelped in surprise, letting himself be pulled into the bathroom. The wooden door was shut behind him, and he was pushed back against him. Bam clutched at his bag, and looked up, meeting a pair of green eyes.

“Dammit, Ville. Don’t fucking do that.” Bam said, swallowing slightly when Ville stepped impossibly closer to him. He could feel Ville’s thigh pressing between his, and heat spread through his body. Ville just smiled, shifting slightly. Bam tensed slightly, and decided that Ville was entirely to close for comfort.

Not that he really minded, though.

Ville leaned in close, his breath ghosting out over Bam’s ear. “I want my taste.”

“You--” Bam began, was cut off when he felt Ville’s lips brush against his. He moaned, letting his bag thud dully onto the ground, before he threaded both hands through Ville’s hair and pulled him into a deeper kiss. Ville braced his hands on the door, either side of Bam’s body, and nipped at Bam’s lower lip, demanding entrance. Bam gasped and parted his lips, before he felt Ville’s tongue stroking over his. The kiss was controlled, and leveled, the frantic motions Bam longed for being held back. Bam smiled into their kiss, and rocked his hips against Ville’s.

Ville gasped, and was suddenly tugging at Bam’s shirt, pulling it from his slacks. Bam’s did the same, pulling Ville’s shirt free and tucking his fingers into the back of Ville’s pants, pulling their hips together sharply. They both moaned, and Bam rocked again, feeling his cock harden with each slow movement. Ville’s kisses were addictive, so much so that he pulled back long enough for a breath, before Bam was pulling him back, mouths meeting and tongues twining in a passionate dance. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was dimly aware of Ville’s hands snaking under his shirt, brushing along the skin of his stomach. His skin was hot, and Bam arched into the touch, silently begging for more. His fingers slid further down the back of Ville’s slacks, pressing against the soft curve of his ass. Ville was working at loosening Bam’s belt, moving quickly to undo his pants. Bam moaned into their kiss as Ville tugged down his zipper, thankful for the slight release. His only thought was the hotfranticneed that coursed through him. The burning desire for the boy pressing again him. The boy kissing him.

The boy sliding his hand down into Bam’s boxers to wrap around his hard cock.

Bam bucked his hips, pulling away to moan loudly, the sound echoing around the small school bathroom.

“Oh, God… Ville…” He breathed, tilting his head as he felt Ville’s lips sliding along his neck, biting and licking in places that made Bam gasp and buck up into his roommates grip. The pace at which Ville stroked Bam’s cock was as needy and desperate as their kisses; the only rational thought in the boy’s minds was the quickest way to get off before the bell rang for the next class. Bam ran his hands up Ville’s back, under his shirt, delighting at the shiver that ran through Ville’s body. He curved his fingers, digging his short nails into the skin of Ville’s shoulders, bucking his hips up into each stroke along his cock, essentially fucking Ville’s hand.

“You know how beautiful you look right now?” Ville breathed against his ear. Bam whimpered, clutching desperately at Ville’s shoulders. He could feel the familiar warmth beginning to spread through him, need tightening his stomach. Ville’s grip around his cock tightened his strokes quickening. Bam was a mess of whimpers and moans, bucking helplessly as Ville spoke into his ear. “You’re so hot. Your hair curling around your face, looking so desperate.”

Bam closed his eyes, pulling Ville impossibly closer to him. He was nearly there… so close, he just needed to be pulled over the edge. Bam pushed his hips up, biting into his lips to stifle the sounds being pulled from his throat.

“I wonder,” Ville said softly, biting on Bam’s earlobe and flicking his tongue over the soft flesh. His thumb dragged slowly over the head over Bam’s cock, and he smiled. “If this is what you’d look like while I fucked you?”

Bam dragged his nails down Ville’s back, arching up and coming hard into Ville’s hand. Pleasure bloomed through his body, and he bit hard into his lip to stop himself screaming.

When his vision stopped swimming with euphoria, and he could think semi-straight, he licked his lips and tasted blood. Ville leaned in and kissed him, before pulling his hand free of Bam’s slacks and whiping his come on the doorframe, before resting it on the door. His head tipped forward, resting against Bam’s shoulder, and Bam realised that Ville had his pants undone, his other hand working along his cock to bring himself over the edge. Bam watched in fascination as Ville’s shoulders began to tremble, his breath coming out in short, harsh puffs against Bam’s shoulder. Ville bit down, into Bam’s shirt and skin, muffling his cry as he came, leaning heavily against Bam so as not to slip to the floor.

It was the hottest thing Bam had ever seen.

Ville looked up with a grin, leaning in to kiss Bam again. Bam happily returned the kiss, wrapping both his arms around Ville. Both of Ville’s hands found their way onto his chest, before Bam felt his already-loose tie being tugged at. He pulled back from the kiss, giving Ville a weird look as he tugged Bam’s tie off his neck and scruntched it up.

“What are you doing?” Bam asked. Ville just smiled then looked down and whiped himself clean with the tie. Bam pulled a look. “Oh, come on…”

Ville dropped the tie onto the ground near Bam’s bag, then pulled away, reaching down to do up his slacks, and tuck in his shirt. Bam stood their watching him for a moment, before shaking out of his daze and doing the same, leaving his shirt untucked, however. He leant down, picking up his laptop bag and tie, shoving the tie into a side pocket, and stepping away from the door.

“You owe me a tie, man.” He said, pulling open the bathroom door and walking out, sighing in relief and the dull monotonous ring of the school bell sounded. Ville rested a hand on his shoulder, leaning close and pressing a kiss to Bam’s cheek, despite the crowded corridor.

“See you later, Bammie.” He whispered, before disappearing into the crowd. Bam sighed, and shook his head, staring at his shoes as he walked. Ville had just jerked him off.

Ville had jerked him, Bam, his roommate, off.

What the hell did that mean?

Bam turned the corner, and collided with someone about his height. He stumbled back a bit, looking up from his shoes to meet the face of Lauri.

“Hi.” Bam said, blinking as Lauri smiled. “Sorry about that.”

“Hei, Bam.” Lauri said cheerfully, pulling Bam out of the flow of the crowd. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Bam nodded, looking at the blonde boy a little weirdly. What could Lauri possibly want?

“I saw you before.” Lauri said, his smile fading from cheerful to almost sadistic. Creepy, just a bit. “Just before, with Ville.”

Bam nodded. “Okay… so?”

Lauri leaned in close, speaking in Bam’s ear with an almost venemous voice. “Don't get comfortable, Narttu... you're just a one off thing to a slut like him.”

Bam took a couple of steps backwards, staring at Lauri in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Lauri said, waving to Bam, the sickly sweet smile back on his face as he blended into the crowd, leaving Bam standing in the corridor with a shocked look.

Okay, so I admit I made you guys wait a little on this, BUT... I gave you smut, right? So you love me, right?

Again, please do check out the other writings around this journal. I shall give you cookies if you do.

Drabble

2006-03-01T09:50:06Z

Vam Drabble - Helsinki Cold